An Unfortunate Interruption
by Souplog
Summary: Commander Jane Shepard is horrified to accidentally walk in on her Asari daughter discovering the wonders of making out.
1. An Unfortunate Interruption

Aw geez, I know this isn't very well-written, but now I know what it means to have a plot bunny that won't go away. And God, do they not go away. I'll probably edit this at some point.

* * *

Benny is a clumsy Asari; the unlucky owner of two left hands and an immutable stutter that strikes whenever she gets the least bit nervous. At forty, she's the spitting image of an Asari struggling with puberty, catching the front end of her adolescence with an inadequately tiny glove.

But shifting hormones have little o do with her already chronic shyness. She avoids group situations and only talks in class when she absolutely has to. She's very gifted academically, but it doesn't make her feel any better about her piss-poor social skills.

Her mother tells her not to worry about it, that she was just as bad when she was her age, but Mom is crazy awesome, and it's hard to believe her when she's macking like a boss with Dad in the middle of the day.

"Don't worry Little Wing," her mother had said say, "you may be confused now, but clarity comes as inevitably as time."

Little consolation, Mom.

But by god she will not be deterred now. Awkwardness be damned. This, she will get right.

Because sitting next to her on the couch is the prettiest girl in her Transitive Bio-Ethics class, in the entire University, Sarah Stottlemeyer.

And Sarah Stottlemeyer is kissing her. Hard.

She's turning her head from side to side, tongue slipping languorously in and out of Benny's mouth. She's smiling with her eyes closed, and Benny smiles too, nervously, with her eyes open.

Suddenly Sarah jerks forward, and her body is pressed flush against her, and Benny can't help but feel the human's breasts rubbing against her.

_Why oh why did I have to be wearing a thick sweater today? _Hindsight is twenty-twenty.

Benny doesn't know what to do with her hands.

Should she caress Sarah's hair?

Should she embrace her?

Should she stroke Sarah's thighs?

Should she try groping something?

Why was this so hard?!

She settles on clutching at Sarah's waist, and her fingers slip into the girl's shirt (purely by accident, because Benny only has game when it happens by accident).

Sarah gasps. Benny swallows.

"Benny your heart is racing," Sarah presses her ear against Benny's chest, "are you nervous?"

"N-n-no I…"

Sarah laughs, amused, but kind. "Do you want to stop?"

"No!" Benny surprises herself with her own outburst.

"Then don't be so nervous. Here," she takes Benny's hand and presses it against her boob. "I'm nervous too."

After Benny gets over the fresh wave of astronomical nervousness that is Sarah's boob in her hand, she has the presence of mind to be touched. "Sarah…"

Nervousness banished, confidence bolstered, Benny takes the initiative and goes in for the kiss. It starts out slowly, but she gains confidence as Sarah murmurs sweetly against her lips. Before too long their kissing intensifies, becoming faster and more urgent.

And not once does Benny let go of Sarah's boob. She doesn't think she'll ever let go. And Benny doesn't know what she's doing but she breaks away and starts nibbling on Sarah's neck.

Eliciting a gasp.

Giving Benny the courage to reach into Sarah's shirt.

And out of the corner of her eye she sees something move.

"Oh my God! Dad!?"

Commander Jane Shepard, having just arrived home from an exhausting day at work, had not seconds earlier walked into her living room to find her daughter lip-locked with a young woman she vaguely remembered Benny mentioning. But Jane had no idea that the relationship extended beyond friendship.

If anything she was worried Benny was too much of a loner.

Utterly befuddled as to what to do, Shepard stands there for several seconds, feeling like an absolute idiot. Millions of emotions running amok through her body. Hesitantly, she decides to sneak up the stairs to her wife's offices to ask _her_ what to do.

And so she sneaks, forgetting that she is terrible at being sneaky.

"Oh my God! Dad!?"

She freezes mid-step, cringing at the sound of her daughter's embarrassment.

She turns, rigid like an automaton.

"Oh! Benny! Hi! Didn't see you there"

"Dad what are you doing?!"

"Ms. T'Soni I can explain!"

"Nope!" Shepard says, averting her eyes and clapping her hands over her ears, "No need! I was just…uh, going…yeah. Up the stairs to see my wife. Uh-huh. You kids have fun. Bye now!"

And as soon as she is out the door, she scrambles up the stairs like a madman, bursting into the study and shocking the bejeezus out of her wife.

"Jane? What-"

"Liara!" Shepard yells, stopped from speaking further only because she has to stop and catch her breath. "Benny…she…kissing…girl…neck…sexy times….what do I do?!"

* * *

Downstairs Benny is burying her face in a pillow, with an amused Sarah trying to coax her out.

"Benny, it's okay, I think your Dad is more embarrassed than you are"

Benny just shakes her head.

"Wow, you two really are alike." After a minute of soothing back-rubbing, in which Benny is persuaded into leaning back into a smiling Sarah's arms, Sarah asks, "So, awkward question, but why didn't you ever tell me that Commander Shepard was your Dad?"


	2. An Unfortunate Passage of Time

Forgot to say this earlier, but I'm blown away by the interest in this story. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, reviews are always appreciated, even the criticisms (so long as it has a purpose).

I'll get out of your way now.

* * *

**A Significant While Ago**

Jane Shepard always looks forward to coming home every day after work, not entirely because it means a reprieve from knocking heads at the Council chambers, not entirely because it means quality time and eventual sex with her gorgeous Asari bondmate (though it is a significant amount), and not entirely because it means de-stressing at her in-home firing range.

In, fact, most of why Jane is happy to return home is because as soon as she opens the door, she is tackled by 90 pounds of delighted Asari child.

Every time she pretends to be surprised, falling back slightly even as she braces herself.

"Daddy! You're home!"

Just the prospect of hearing those three words is enough for Jane to get through her day, the memory of yesterday's greeting/tackle allowing her to soldier on as she shouts bureaucrats into their place.

"Benny!"

At this point Shepard stumbles into the room, holding the kid in her arms and swinging her around, eliciting a pealing laughter that usually brings Liara into the foyer. The two of them kiss before Shepard shrugs Benny onto her shoulders and runs through the house, pretending to be a spaceship.

In typical holiday-special fashion, Benny often squeals "I love you daddy!" to which Shepard either tickles her or just has to stop for a minute to wipe away a single, solitary soldier's tear.

And though this routine changes as the years go by, Shepard isn't too bothered.

Before she knows it she comes home to Benny just giving her a hug.

And next Benny just yells out an enthusiastic "Dad!"

"After that, Benny can be found somewhere in the house, usually reading, and though Shepard has to find her, she is always rewarded by a warm look and a "hey Dad, welcome home."

After forty years of inexplicable human longevity, Shepard has grown used to seeing her little bookish princess doing something completely innocent whenever she comes home.

But all things change, and not all changes are gradual.

Eventually…

"Oh my God! Dad!?"

**The Present**

Shepard sits hunched over in her bed, her hand pressed against her forehead in that way it does whenever she has to come to terms with something difficult. After the Reapers had invaded years ago, she could be seen at the Normandy's bridge, always in that pose.

Even now she is wearing that same hoody she wore so many years ago. The only difference is she isn't on her spaceship fighting to save the universe from imminent destruction.

No, this time she is in her sizable citadel apartment, trying and failing to get the image of her daughter slipping her hand up some girl's shirt, nibbling on said girl's neck, out of her head.

Out of nowhere she produces a cigarette and takes a long, agonized drag.

"Oh for Goddess' sake, put that out Jane," a biotic field does that before she can even react, tossing the cigarette into the wastebin, "stop overreacting. This is a perfectly normal development in Benny's life"

"How can you be so calm about this?" It isn't quite a yell, more of an agonized plea, as if entreating her bondmate for even a scrap of sympathy.

"Why aren't you? You must remember what it was like to be a teenager"

"How old is Benny in human years?"

"About 19 I think"

Memories of all the things Shepard got into when she was 19 played in her head like a great sordid slideshow.

"Oh…" Shepard's face resolves itself into a rictus of dawning realization, "Oh god…oh god!" She jumps out of the bed, "Benny!"

Liara has to restrain her with another biotic field, floating Shepard back onto the bed where Liara hugs her from behind, burying her nose into the disheveled mop of red hair. "Jane," she chides, "Jane let it go"

"When did she grow up Liara? I thought I was paying attention, I thought this was the good side about having a half-century-long adolescence"

"Most Asari have a considerable amount of sexual experience by the middle of their adolescence" Shepard cringes at the word "sexual" and Liara rolls her eyes, "Benny is just a special case"

"_You_ hadn't been with anybody until we met"

"I was a special case too," Liara sighs, "Come on, you knew it had to end sometime"

Shepard slumps, uttering a low mournful keen, such as a wolf might make when wanting to howl at the moon but not wanting to go to all the effort. Liara thinks it's adorable and it makes her giggle.

"Liara"

"Yes, my love?"

"Hold me"

"Already there, love"

**Years in the past, but not much**

Benny isn't a very sociable person, and though she feels lonely sometimes this is something she is more or less okay with.

She has friends after all, and a very loving family. But at the back of her mind she has always known that something was missing.

A lover.

She isn't hopeless; she knows that her time will come eventually. But that time, in her mind, is a considerable way away.

As such, she feels okay about her chronic shyness stopping her from acting on any of her crushes. Benny's is not a constitution built for confessions of potential puppy love.

So in the meantime, while she waits for the day she is finally be brave enough to ask someone out, she bides her time studying and reading her books.

Something unexpected happens after one particularly gripping session of Transitive Bio-Ethics. Benny walks out of the classroom, clutching her books to her chest and chatting animatedly with her friends, when a girl approaches her, right in front of her friends, smooth as you please, and politely asks her to accompany her.

Politely changes everything.

The girl is not one of Benny's crushes, as Benny is a realist. She doesn't develop crushes on people she considers to be out of her league. And because she rationalizes that this isn't the manifestation of the low self-esteem that she sometimes thinks this is, she is okay with this.

But Sarah Stotlemeyer is gorgeous, with short blonde hair that tucks neatly into a black headband. She wears form-fitting clothing, and Benny figures that Sarah's closet must be filled with that kind of thing, as every time she sees Sarah, the girl is wearing something that shows off all the attractive curves and dips of her frame.

Today's ensemble is a tight green sweater and one of those skirts that swishes just high enough with every step that whoever's paying attention can't help but think that if they stare long enough they will be rewarded with a glimpse of something amazing. But of course they never are.

It is the skirt that Benny is staring at now, watching it swing pendulum-like to and fro, as she follows Sarah to wherever she is taking her. She isn't nervous, but she is ashamed to be slightly turned on.

She _is_ nervous not one minute later when Sarah has led her to the rooftop. The cliché has her wondering where this is going, and her head unconsciously bows, making her look once again at the girl's skirt.

"Uh, sorry if I'm bothering you, I just had something really important to ask"

"Okay…"

"I don't know if you remember me, we worked on that genero-gel project together a few weeks back?"

Of course Benny remembers

"Ah, right, sorry. Um, I'm not weird or anything, honest, Oh jeez, I don't mean…uh, I'm just going to come out and say this."

After Benny looks up to meet Sarah's eyes, she has to wait through a few seconds of mutual nervousness before she prompts Sarah by saying, "What?"

"Do you want to maybe go out with me sometime?"

**Present**

"Sarah I'm so sorry that happened"

"Ha! It's no problem, it was actually kind of funny"

They are standing at the T'Soni doorway, Benny standing on the inside, Sarah on the outside.

After her father had walked in on her making moves on Sarah, Benny had lost all appetite for further sexy behavior. And, typical for her, she blamed herself for running things for her girlfriend.

"I'm really, really sorry"

"Aw, Benny, you don't have to keep apologizing," she pulls the Asari into a hug. But it is an awkward hug, and she pulls Benny by her neck down into her cleavage. Benny, trying to steady herself, inadvertently gets to second base for the second time that night, making Sarah gasp. "Uh, I'll just go home and take a really long shower then"

"Sorry!"

Sarah lets out a peal of laughter that, unbeknownst to her, has Shepard cringing all the way upstairs. "Benny please stop apologizing"

"Ah, right, sorry," she catches herself, "Dammit"

Sarah shakes her head, "What did I do to deserve someone so adorable?"

Benny smiles, "Probably whatever it is I did to deserve such a goofball"

Sarah clutches at her heart in mock pain

"Gah! My fair lady, you wound me! But alas, we two are getting much too mushy, and this goodbye is drawing out much too long. Adieu, my sweet," and Sarah plants a peck on Benny's lips and turns to go.

Benny giggles, "Bye now"

She stands there watching Sarah leave, laughing and shaking her head as the human girl jumps around, waving elaborate goodbyes as she gets farther and farther away.

Benny's light mood is spoilt by the sinking realization that, oh God, in the morning she's going to have to deal with her Dad.

The two of them are equally horrified at this prospect.


	3. An Unfortunate Array of Cameras

Not much input from Benny this time. I spent a long time writing and re-writing this. Hope you like it!

* * *

The T'Soni family was in the habit of having meals together, though as Benny gets older she tends to eat out with her friends for lunch and dinner. Breakfast, however, has remained an immutably a family activity.

This is what Shepard thinks about as she shovels cold spoonfulls of milk-soaked coco puffs into her mouth, trying not to think about what it will eventually mean when Benny starts missing the breakfasts as well.

Because if Benny starts missing breakfast…

Shepard narrows her eyes.

Benny nervously plays with her food. Whenever her Dad's eyes narrow like that it means she's trying not to think about something, and thinking about it anyway. She gets like this whenever Mom withholds sex (a secret she isn't supposed to know about but does). Granted, it isn't nearly as bad now as it is then, but still.

Liara, for her part, eyes the both of them before, having had just about enough awkward bullshit as she could take, snaps her fingers in front of Shepard's face.

"Jane," Shepard keeps looking into space, "Jane!"

"Sex breakfast!" Shepard squawks, jumping in her chair. She looks, wide-eyed, at her bond-mate and daughter, trying with all her might to believe that she didn't just say that. She clears her throat, "Yeah Liara?"

Liara darts her eyes Benny's way and back to Shepard, nudging her head in the universal sign for "get on with it then."

The subtlety isn't lost on Benny, and she steels herself for whatever is coming up next.

But she isn't sure what's supposed to come next, because for her entire life she hasn't ever gotten in trouble with her Dad. In fact whenever either of them got in trouble with Liara, they covered for each other like partners in crime. This is why, in their family, Liara was usually the bad guy.

Truth is, Shepard never had the heart to chew out her daughter, because she could never stay angry at her for longer than five minutes. And Benny knew that.

But Benny had never done anything like this. For what is to come next, there is no precedent.

She sits up straight, prepared to take whatever is coming. She feels very unimpressive in her pajamas, but she at least feels prepared.

Shepard looks at her, scrutinizes her (unintentionally making Benny quake in the boots she wasn't wearing) noticing as if for the first time that Benny has the face of a beautiful young woman. Looking down, she sees that Benny had the curves of a young woman too.

The realization makes her very sad. And she resolves to get Benny dowdier pajamas.

Honestly she had been planning on steadfastly _not_ talking about what she had seen last night.

"Benny," Shepard clears her throat. "Er, Beneziah," she begins. "I…you…I…..you…" Liara slaps her palm to her forehead; Shepard is already making a mess of this. Another throat-clear, "Beneziah, you had a girl here last night"

"Y-yes"

"You were kissing and…and stuff"

"Y-yes"

Both of them swallow. A silence permeates between the two of them that's so heavy that the weight of it actually causes them to simultaneously look at the floor. Shepard shoots a sullen glance Liara's way. "What do I say now?" it asks. Liara responds with a raise of the eyebrow that Shepard recognizes as "Oh no, I'm not helping you with this shit. _You're_ the one with the problem, _you_ deal with it."

And with that Liara picks up her cup of coffee and saunters off to her room, kissing Benny on the forehead as she passes by. When she gets back to her room, she reclines in her ludicrously expensive armchair made of Thresher maw lung fibers, and proceeds to monitor the conversation going on in the kitchen with her omnitool, sipping at her coffee and watching like a cartoon villain.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, two women are trying their damndest to communicate about something they have never communicated about before.

Just as Liara was the "bad guy", she was also the one who had to explain the "birds and the bees," or else the ridiculously complicated Asari equivalent. She explained all this on Benny's sixteenth birthday; a Sunday afternoon that Shepard had spent huddled in a corner trying to shut the world out.

But Benny isn't sixteen any more, and therefor no longer a little girl. And Shepard, loathe to admit it though she is, admits it.

"I feel...that this would be a much easier conversation for me to have if you weren't forty years old"

This being the last thing Benny thought she would say, Benny asks, "What do you mean?"

Shepard sighs, "So what's her name?" she asks, changing the subject and not answering Benny's question.

Stifling her annoyance at this, her least favorite of her Father's conversation habits (something she picked up dealing with citadel bureaucracy no doubt), Benny answers. "Who?"

"The girl, from last night"

"Oh! Uh, Sarah. Stottlemeyer. Sarah Stottlemeyer."

"Hmmm," Shepard acknowledges, feeling very tired despite getting a full-night's sleep, "She your girlfriend or…?"

"Yeah," Benny responds warmly, garnering an unexpected but not unenjoyed bout of pleasure as she acknowledges the fact. Suddenly she feels much better about where this conversation is going. "Yeah, she is"

"What's she like?"

"Uh, she's funny, kind. She's very patient with me, and I love spending time with her. She's," Benny chuckles, "she's kind of a goofball. She reminds me of-" Benny stops herself before she says 'of you, actually.' Shaking off shudders, she goes on: "I don't know what else to say. She's a good student and I really, really like her…I guess, is how I would describe her"

Shepard nods, looking wistfully out the window for a good long while, unknowingly imitating a protagonist from one of Liara's favorite Asari period dramas (about forbidden love between a priestess of Athame and a Justicar). In their bedroom Liara catches herself mid-swoon and, calming herself, placidly sips her coffee. With her free hand she changes her and Shepard's plans for the day, ordering a set of outfits and props online from the actual movie.

Back in the kitchen, Shepard has again changed the subject.

"You, uh, you remember that time your uncle Garrus came to visit us?"

"He's visited us a bunch of times"

"Right, I meant the first time. You must have been what? Five or six? You remember?"

"Not…really"

"Oh well, doesn't matter. You were so scared of him at first. I swear, it was so cute. You kept trembling behind your Mom whenever he so much as looked at you"

Benny laughs, burying her face in her hands, "Oh god, I didn't!"

"You did! I laughed so hard, he was so upset and confused." She chuckles, wiping a tear from her eye, "Anyway, just for a laugh I yelled, "I'll protect you Benny!" and I snatched you from behind your Mom and held you tight. And then I was all like, "I won't let you take my daughter you nasty scar-man!""

"What did Garrus say?" Benny laughs.

"Oh he got really into it. He was all like, "yarrr!" and I was like "not on my watch!"" Shepard finishes laughing, finally breathing easy. "Anyway, when we were done you were so scared that, when I finally let you go, you were actually latched onto me like a koala. You know what you said?"

"No, but I get the feeling that it's going to be really embarrassing"

Shepard smiles, "You said, 'save me Daddy.'" As Benny groans, Shepard clasps her own cheeks in her hands, "It was so freakin' adorable! That day I swore to do just that, no matter how old you grew, how sarcastic you got, or how tired you got of me"

"I'm not going to get tired of you Dad"

"Yeah you will. But that's okay, because you'll always be my little princess. No matter what happens. So, what I guess I'm trying to say is that...I'm happy for you"

Overcome, Benny jumps out of her seat and hugs her father who, trying not to smile, does anyway. Back in the room, Liara is capturing the Kodak moment from several different angles.

"Thanks Dad. Argghh, I was so worried that you would freak out or something!"

"I'm not crazy, jeez! What kind of unreasonable parent do you think I am" Shepard fights down her own mottled flush. She hugs Benny back, "But," she starts, "I think I want to meet this Sarah of yours"

Benny's eyes widen.

"You know," Shepard grins, seeing this, "for my own peace of mind. That's not too much to ask is it?"

* * *

When Shepard climbs up the stairs to get ready for work, she is met in her room with a grinning Liara.

"You watched that whole thing didn't you?"

"I did"

Shepard grumbles, "I hope you liked it. Good pre-work dramatics and all that."

As she reaches to open her closet, Liara's hands catches her own. "You're not going to work. All of your appointments have new, pressing matters to deal with, and will be detained for the next three days."

Shepard grins, "Oooh, you nasty Shadow Broker, you." She advances, delicately tracing the outline of Liara's jaw.

"Wait"

"What? Do you not want-?"

"Of course I do…but the outfits aren't here yet"

"Oh god Liara, again?"


	4. Difficult to remove

I felt everybody should get to know Sarah a little better. This is my inadequate way of doing that. Was fun to write though. As usual, I'll get around to fixing all the little errors later. Time to renew the oyster card.

* * *

Sarah feels pretty confident about meeting her girlfriend's parents.

She is, after all, the kind of person who only studies for exams the night before and passes anyway. She is the kind of person who somehow manages to be talented at everything she tries. She is, in fact, the kind of person that, it they put just a bit of effort into it, could be friends with pretty much anybody.

She is, in her own words, just that amazing.

But a swollen ego can stave away anxiety for only so long.

As she sits now, on one of the seats of the Citadel's considerably lavish public transportation rails, she cannot help but notice, out the roof window, the gigantic statue of her girlfriend's dad (Other mother? She had always had trouble figuring out Asari pronouns).

The statue juts triumphantly out of the Council chambers, effectively visible from all corners of the citadel. One fist is pumped victoriously in the air while the other balances an assault rifle on her hip. Irises were left un-sculpted, and because of this, even from a distance, the statue manages to exude an almost divine presence to match the magnitude of Shepard's legend.

Sarah's usually unflappable cool falters. Her confidence, typically un-budgable, budges.

_That_, she thinks, _is the person I am going to see in thirty minutes_.

The statue's cocky smirk, exalted as an iconic decision on the part of the sculptor for its inclusion, seem for just a few seconds to be focused entirely on her.

And that assault rifle is awful intimidating.

Sarah forcibly averts her eyes, shoving her gaze to the opposite window. A turian sitting under it looks at her and nudges his head. _Sup_. Sarah nudges her head in reply. _Sup_.

She feels underprepared.

Should she be dressed better? No, skirt and blouse is probably fine, better than the overly-formal standard space-dress that everyone seems to be wearing these days.

Should she have brought a gift? No, what is this the 1950s? This isn't some ritualistic dowry tradition.

Should she have-

"Gah! Come on Sarah, stop thinking. Just stop."

And for a while saying all that out loud helps. But it doesn't stop her from, not five seconds later, thinking and anticipating all over again. And to think, when she first found out about Benny's parentage she had been confidently blasé about the whole thing.

Needless to say, she wouldn't be this daunted if the people she was about to (officially) meet weren't galactic legends.

_Oh god what have I gotten myself into?_

She's startled when the railcar comes to a halt at her stop and the doors slide open.

Sarah stumbles off and out into the rich district she has become well-acquainted with over the last few weeks. Benny hadn't felt comfortable inviting her over until recently, and though Sarah was a little curious as to why, she never thought to ask.

Well now she knows why.

Her omni tool flickers to life, jostling Sarah's pocket where her hand was stuffed. Pulling it out, she sees an image of Benny smiling at the camera, vibrating wildly in the air. Pressing the image, the projection flips to reveal an instant message display.

_Benny: Where are you?!_

If there is one thing Sarah finds herself morbidly taking pleasure in, it is as much her girlfriend's smile as it is her girlfriend's indignation. Benny is always cutest when she's angry. In the overuse of question and exclamation marks, Sarah can see Benny's angry face, and she giggles.

_Sarah: Im on my way. T-minus five minutes._

_Beneziah: Well hurry up!_

"What I do for love," Sarah sighs, picking up the pace so that, not three minutes later, she is at her girlfriend's doorstep. Her heart beats to the drum of an overzealously epileptic drummer.

She rings the space-age equivalent of a doorbell, and is kept waiting for a lengthy thirty seconds before she hears a series of footsteps.

The door opens to reveal an older, hot-mom, version of Benny. She is…mute-renderingly stunning.

Liara T'Soni looks at an extremely nervous-looking young woman she can only assume is Sarah Stottlemeyer.

Sarah's blonde hair is messy and long, though neat enough to frame her face without being impractical. She's wearing a sweater over her blouse, and a skirt. A combination that, though not excessively tight, is just snug enough to reveal a primly curvy figure. Overall, a grade-A presentation.

_Wow_, Liara thinks, _she looks much better in person. Good job Benny_.

"Hi, you must be Sarah; I'm Benny's Mother, Liara. It's so good to meet you"

Sarah, takes the outstretched hand, understanding now from which side of the family Benny inherited her sexy voice. "Hi," says Sarah. Put on the spot, she forgets her nervousness and fuels her words entirely on natural charm, enough that she forgets to be intimidated by the ethereal beauty in front of her. "It's good to meet you too. Thanks for having me over"

"It's our pleasure. Please, come in."

Though she has been in the T'Soni living room many times before, Sarah realizes that she had never really taken a very good look around, mostly because she was either (cornily) lost in Benny's eyes or seeing it from the doorway.

Many pictures and knick-knacks are strewn about the walls and shelves. Mementos, she assumes, from the family's many adventures. Over here is some sort of metallic ball, over there is a burnt helmet; dog-tags, fish tank, Krogan battlemaster figurines, Prothean artifacts behind glass cases, a few surreal paintings and sculptures, books with actual paper pages, and a noticeably large collection of Thessian drama memorabilia.

There is a large portrait of the whole family, as well as many pictures of Shepard and Liara posing with various interesting people; a woman covered in tattoos, a grizzled krogan, a noticeably annoyed asari in a white jacket, an obviously drunk quarian, a turian caught screaming in what Sarah assumes was an elaborate prank.

A few stand-alone portraits are there as well; a damaged geth at a ship console, a drell looking up from the middle of gun maintenance. These are placed reverentially apart from the others.

In short, the apartment has character that surpasses the neighborhood's genteel homogeneity. It's full of memories.

"You have a beautiful home," says Sarah. And she means it.

"Thank you. We aren't much for conventional decoration." Liara smiles pleasantly, indicating the very couch she and Benny had been making out on not days before, "Please, take a seat, I have to go find Benny's father. She has been…busy lately, and is a little out of sorts"

_Out of sorts? _"No, sure, go right ahead"

Left alone on the couch, Sarah takes a moment to message Benny that she has arrived. When no reply is instantly forthcoming she just sort of sits and waits. There's no shortage of eye-distraction in the T'Soni living area.

"Liara, when is Benny's girlfriend getting here I'm having trouble remo- Oh. You're not my wife"

And there she is, Commander Shepard: savior of the galaxy, the face that ushered in the new age, the woman almost solely responsible for ongoing galactic peace, survivor of the infamous incident at Akuze (a feat that, while comparatively less impressive, is historically well-known due to its constant use in the opening scenes of Shepard's many biopics).

Her girlfriend's father.

The awe that Sarah might have otherwise felt is replaced by a mixed bag of intimidation, confusion and arousal.

For Shepard is wearing what she is pretty sure is an outfit from a Justicar western her mother is a fan of; _Outlaws of the Code, _a Thessian drama popular among species other than just asari. The outfit is essentially a high-collared dress with a considerable cleavage window, and slits running up either leg. Her legs aren't bare though, as they are enveloped in tight stiletto boots that climb up to Shepard's thighs, making them more salacious than if there were nothing there at all.

Very bondage-chic. Popular culture would have the galaxy at large believe that most justicars are gun-toting dommes.

Shepard, however, either doesn't notice or doesn't care about Sarah's bewilderment. The woman's eyes narrow, and in that dress it makes her look like a panther set to pounce (and not in a sexy way, but at the same time in a very, _very_ sexy way)

"No, you're that Stottlemeyer girl. I thought I recognized the back of your head"

"Uh…"

Shepard takes a seat, right on the other end of the couch, sensually crossing one leg over another. Sarah averts her eyes, wondering if she should surreptitiously scooch away.

"So, Sarah. Can I call you Sarah?"

"Er…"

"Sarah, tell me about yourself. I'd like to know what kind of person my daughter is dating. And I'm trying to be friendly about it"

This, Sarah feels she can answer. "Sure, uh, I come from the Pelican colonies, but I grew up in-"

"No, not that stuff. Tell me about what you do now. How you met Benny, that kind of thing. I'm taking an interest"

Ah, the interrogation. The situation is still scary, but it is a script Sarah feels confident following. "Oh, okay, I'm training in data analysis right now. I want to be a communications specialist someday, so…there's that. I actually met Benny a while ago, but she for-"

"Actually you know what? Let's just skip all that for now. Believe me, I would love to hear where this is going, but I need you to do me a small favor first"

"What is it?"

Shepard, Sarah finds, is a radically un-shy woman, "I need you to help me take off this dress"

"What?!"

"Yeah. Liara tied the fastenings and…yeah, they're really hard to undo without contorting myself to extreme angles which…I guess she enjoys. I don't know. Just help me out"

"Uh, Are you sure, I mean-"

"Yes, I am sure. I saved the galaxy, so, yeah. I don't make my decisions lightly. God, this is getting uncomfortable"

"Okay, sure, no problem. Um," Sarah takes one look at the convoluted elegance that are the knots holding the dress together at the back, "Wow. Ms. T'Soni, er- Commander-"

"Either 'Jane' or 'Shepard' will do, Sarah"

"Right. Okay, Jane," Sarah laughs nervously, "I'm not exactly comfortable right now, with this"

"Oh come on, help me out. Please?"

With those words Sarah remembers a fantasy she used to have that went along these very lines, situationally. Her flush just about envelops her entire body as she reaches with trembling hands for the first knot.

"Dad!" She's interrupted by Benny bursting into the room, and her hands dart to her sides. She's unsure if she should feel relieved or guilty. "Dad, what are you doing?"

"I'm actually having a pretty nice talk with-"

"Ohmigod, and why are you wearing that? Oh jeez, no. This is what you and Mom have been up to isn't it? Crap! Unwelcome mental image." She fusses over Shepard like a mother hen, "Please, just go change"

"What? You have any idea how hard it is to take this stuff off by myself?"

"Dad," Benny's eyes gleam entreatingly, tears threatening, "please, for the love of god, go change. Mom is looking for you upstairs"

Shepard grumbles, getting up and artfully gathering the hem of her dress. "I'm sorry Sarah, I am being dismissed like a common courtesan. I'll be back down in a few minutes…er, make that the better part of an hour"

Shepard huffs out of the room, melodramatically feminine in that way she gets whenever she's annoyed. Despite herself, Sarah can't resist a covert glance at the woman's shapely posterior. Benny inherited that too, Sarah dazedly realizes. Score.

When Shepard's gone, Benny kisses Sarah on the cheek.

"I am _so_ sorry about that"

Sarah regains the ability to breathe, "That was…"

"Believe it or not, any discomfort you're feeling right now is probably unintentional on her part. She's just…like that"

"Oh…oh good. Hey can you just sit over there, really quick?"

"Uh, okay," Benny complies, "why?"

Sarah promptly faints onto Benny's lap.


	5. Unfortunate Chronology

Author's Note: Wasn't sure where I was even going with the last few chapters, just kind of made it up as I went along. Maybe in your reviews you could suggest stuff to me? That'd be cool. Anyway, I've decided to stretch out, chronologically. Hope you still read this. I really should get an editor other than myself.

* * *

Asari maidenhood is similar to its human analogue, though understandably more nuanced. The young Asari, after all, have a universe's-worth of potential love interests to discover and pursue, making the universe, one would suppose, one giant sexual smorgasbord for the inquiring maiden.

But it is perhaps not so crude as that. True, many young Asari spend as long as half a century working at strip clubs, but that does not mean they throw their genitals about willy-nilly to the nearest sentient species ready to receive them.

No, it is a complicated learning experience (with a lot of grinding and gyrating involved) in which the youngster observes how aliens (and indeed other Asari) react to their sexuality. But really, what coming-of-age experience isn't complicated? Asari or otherwise.

Basically it is a grand adventure of self-discovery. And you don't even have to be a stripper to undergo it.

This is why Liara T'Soni did not expect Benny to be with Sarah Stottlemeyer very long, though she liked Sarah when she met her all those years ago. She predicted that the relationship would fade as puppy love does, and give way to experimentation that would lead to more mature partnerships in the future.

Well she was wrong about that, for which she was suitably impressed and contrite.

"Hey baby, I'm almost done here. I can't wait to get back home and see you!"

Benny bites her lip guiltily, waving her assistant away to ensure privacy. When the young Salarian doesn't see her and keeps working at his terminal, she ushers him out the door with an unsubtle biotic nudge. "I can't wait to see you either Sarah. But…here's the thing"

Sarah sighs, "Benny…"

"I am so, so sorry. I'll just be here for a few more hours and then I can head home"

"Benny I just got back to the citadel"

"I know, I know baby. It's just this is really important. We're on the verge of-"

"I know. Some revolutionary something-or-other. *Sigh* fine. When can I expect you back?"

"…"

"Benny…"

"Probably at like three"

"THREE in the morning?! Are you insane? We were supposed to go to that art showing. YOUR uncle's art showing"

"I know, I know! I'm sorry!"

"OK, I'm angry at you now. I just want you to know that. Your hot model girlfriend is angry at you"'

Benny slumps against the wall and slides to the floor, knowing that Sarah is about to get even angrier. "I guess this would be a bad time to tell you that I meant three PM tomorrow…and not tonight"

"…"

"Sarah? Hello?"

*click*

Benny sighs. That went well.

She wouldn't have bailed if her work wasn't so revolutionarily important, but it didn't stop her from feeling like absolute crap.

Oh man. And she didn't even tell Sarah the other news.

Sarah quells tears as she stomps her way out of the terminal, tugging her suitcase angrily behind her. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! She had been so looking forward to getting back to the citadel, all for _her_, and she couldn't tear herself away from her work for just a few hours to even meet her at the spaceport. Now she would have to get a cab and come home to an empty apartment…

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid Benny!

She has to stop and sit down.

The artificial sunlight shines pleasantly through the building's translucent exterior, the trees periodically blocking that light only accentuate its beauty. Sarah plops the suitcase down underneath one of these trees and settles on the bench.

"Hey kiddo," a voice says weakly.

Sarah looks up and doesn't know whether to gasp or start laughing.

Commander Jane Shepard is standing there in her typical hoody, scratching the back of her neck and looking utterly apologetic even though she didn't do anything wrong. The hood is up and she is wearing sunglasses, probably in an attempt to stifle her celebrity but really only making herself look super, super cool.

"Hi Jane"

"Benny asked me to come get you"

"I figured," Sarah snaps angrily. Then she feels like a heel, "I'm sorry, I'm just stressed…I was looking forward to seeing Benny-"

"Sorry I'm not her," Shepard jokes.

"Oh come on, that's not what I meant. I'm happy to see you too." Luckily Sarah doesn't offend easily. She hugs Shepard one-armed. "I'm just angry at your daughter right now"

"Yeah, she didn't handle this very well huh?"

Sarah sighs, no she didn't. But… "It's not just this"

Shepard is silent for a long time before she hoists Sarah's suitcase, "You wanna tell me about it in the car?"

* * *

Sarah and Shepard do not have the most balanced of histories, and because of this they aren't entirely comfortable around each other. Their first encounter, after all, was under less than savory circumstances, and subsequent to that they were formally introduced in such a spectacular way that consequently Sarah, at least, would never be entirely comfortable being alone around Shepard.

This is not to say they dislike each other. They simply exist under the amicable understanding that is the typical relationship between a father and her, for all intents and purposes, daughter-in-law (a dynamic which, in the 22nd century, is not at all the bizarre pronoun nightmare that it is today).

Shepard has to deal with the fact that Sarah has regular sex with Benny. Sarah has to deal with the memory of Shepard in a fetishist Justicar outfit (a memory so ingrained in her psyche that sometimes she can close her eyes and still see it. It is at its most awkward in the middle of masturbation or, even worse, sex.)

Hence discomfort.

Hence, the present atmosphere in Commander Shepard's skycar is more than tense.

"So…" Jane taps her fingertips on the wheel, "how was Eden Prime?"

"It was good. The agency put us up in a spectacular hotel and I had fun working with the other models. The photographer was a little intense but…" Sarah shrugs, "it was good"

"Oh, good. That's…good"

"Yeah"

"…Goooood"

"…"

"….."

"They love you over there you know. They've got a statue and a plaque and everything"

Shepard groans, "I never thought I would get tired of seeing statues of myself. But here I am, fucking exhausted of it." They both cast their gaze heavenward where the big Shepard smirks down at the Citadel's populace.

They spend a little while in silence before Shepard decides to take another shot at getting Sarah to open up. With all that experience talking to her squad mates on the Normandy, getting people to open up is, by now, second nature to her. She may not know Sarah very well, but she does like her.. She makes Benny happy at least.

"Did you want to talk about it? Your problems with Benny, I mean"

Sarah snorts, "Oh god, don't call it a problem. If you call it that I'm going to get super scared and freak out again"

"Right, well, whatever it is, did you want to talk about it?"

Sarah stays silent for a time, steadfastly looking out the window at the citadel passing swiftly underneath. Shepard has the diplomat plates on so they get through traffic pretty much unhindered.

"I feel like she's slipping away from me"

"What do you mean?"

A sigh, "I don't know. She's so busy all the time with her damn research. Changing the galaxy and all that business." She assumes a playful tone, "I wonder where she got that from?"

Shepard gins sheepishly.

"But it's like she doesn't have time for me anymore. Like I don't matter." Another sigh, Sarah realizes she's been sighing a lot lately. Not a go sign. "I know I'm being childish, but I just want her to send at least some of that focus in my direction you know? Ugh, look who I'm talking to. You with the most stable relationship in the world"

Shepard laughs out loud, filling the cabin with a mixture of amusement and almost manic exaggeration. "You think we were always like this? Fuck, it was just as bad with Liara," she gives Sarah playful punch on the arm, "Worse, actually. These Asari with their goals and vendettas, they get so wrapped up that the forget about the people that matter"

"What are you talking about?"

And so Shepard launches into the story of how she helped an obsessed Liara kill the Shadow Broker. She does this without revealing who the current shadow broker is, or what happened to the title in the long run, but the story really needs no such embellishment. She talks about how Liara was so single-mindedly fixated on this goal that she almost lost Shepard in the process.

"Christ you have no idea how much I had to push to get her to just take one second to look at me. Really look at me. Am I making sense to you?"

"Kind of"

"Well that's just my experience. I'm not sure if it translates well into your situation but, basically it boils down to how hard you both want this to work, and how hard you are willing to push to make it work. Benny is so much like her mother; she gets so engrossed in her projects that the world just sort of fades away"

"So you're saying I have to push her?"

"Maybe, maybe not. You're not exactly the same as we were. I'm just saying that you have to talk things out, I guess. Make her listen, but at the same time be patient"

Sarah laughs, a bit ruefully, but genuinely amused as well, "Wow, you are making this sound so complicated"

"Sorry. Platitudes may be platitudes but that doesn't make them untrue. Love's complicated; we just have to deal with it. Sometimes with guns, sometimes with words. In my case, both"

Sarah snorts, "Oh man, when did I become the girl in this relationship"

"Don't even get me started on those thoughts, I have them all the time now and they get really confusing. Just think about the galaxy as one single gender. That helps, sometimes"

"My problems must seem pretty boring to you huh?"

"Honestly? No, it's pretty damn refreshing to have to deal with normal stuff like this on a regular basis. Excitement gets super old, super fast after your first death"

The silence is no longer nearly as awkward as it was.

"I think that was the first real conversation we've ever had"

"I was just about to say." Both humans smile at each other.

And suddenly the silence, or better yet, the atmosphere (as the silence keeps dying) in the car isn't just not awkward, but friendly; comfortable.

"Where am I supposed to take you anyway? I've been driving you to your apartment but…"

"Ah jeez, Benny and I were going to go to that art opening at the Presidium but…I guess that plan is shot"

"Wait," Shepard says excitedly, digging around in her glove compartment, pulling out a flyer, "This one?"

"Yeah actually, how did you know?"

Shepard grins, "I've decided. You are in need of more cheering up. Still feel like going?"

* * *

Krogan culture, in the galaxy's eyes, was for the longest time believed to be completely un-dynamic, consisting of two defining characteristics: a) that they were violent, and b) that they were all mostly infertile.

While the former hasn't changed much, ever since the Reaper invasion and the steadfast reconstruction (re-re-re-re-reconstruction, more like), the Krogan have been undergoing an almost ridiculously prolific cultural renaissance, focusing their attention on matters other than warfare and survival for a change.

There are Krogan movies, Krogan technology firms, Krogan music, Krogan authors, Krogan television; all of this without fading into galactic homogeneity. No, all things Krogan maintained that distinct flavor of dust, blood and thermal clips that was so typically Krogan.

Hell, there are even Krogan art shows.

Sarah, though a long-time galactic citizen, had never been exposed to Krogan art. Neither had many of the impressed citadel dwellers currently sweeping across the gallery, holding cumbersome ryncol flagons (though with no actual ryncol in them, thank god) as per tradition.

Tradition that the artist had made up to mess with everybody.

"Shepard! It is good to see you!"

The art community cannot but love someone whose name is 'Grunt.'

Shepard doesn't have time to register the voice before the giant Krogan has wrapped her in a bodily hug that takes her off her feet and expels all the wind from her lungs.

"Oh. God. Grunt…good to…see you too"

Grunt lets her go, panting and wheezing. "Hmmm, and you say that humans are not so fragile"

"Oh fuck you, ya big lug," and she hugs him, gently this time, before punching him upside the chin. He rocks back a bit, laughing raucously. A nearby Krogan couple nod in approval. "Hey, I'd like you to meet Sarah, this is Benny's-"

"Ah, yes. Benny has spoken of you in our conversations, let's get a look at you," Sarah feels like a mouse under the careful eye-dissection of a very, very big, reptilian cat. "Hmmm, you seem very…soft"

Sarah has no idea what to say to that. Time to belt out the old Stottlemeyer charm. When in doubt, say something nonsensical and stupid. "That's because I'm soft-spoken? Not really, er-"

Grunt looks at her, poker-faced, "That was a terrible joke"

"Oh god, I know"

"HA! I like this one! No-one gets my humor either!" Grunt claps her on the back, "Come! Look at my artworks and be amazed!"

If one was to credit Grunt with anything, it would be unbridled violence. But over the years his interests diversified. New, interesting ways to express himself emerged, and he had a lot to express. Namely, all of the images in his head.

This is how Grunt came to be the most accurate and celebrated sculptor of Krogan military history.

"This is part of my revenge series. It started out as a victory series, but people got offended by that. A good thing as it turned out, this way it's more beautifully cyclical.

All of his sculptures are monolithic exercises in scarily detailed brutality. Here is a series depicting the warlord Shiagur being riddled with Turian bullets. Chunks of palladium meat are suspended magnetically to capture the exact moment, the anger in her visage is so palpable that it almost looks like she is about to tear out of her metallic trappings and massacre something. The sculpture's counterpoint is a Krogan jamming a piece of metal into a dead Turian's head crest, levering it so the plates skew grotesquely. The anatomical detail is amazing.

Here is a Krogan warlord stomping a Rachni queen to death. Its counterpoint, where he and his comrades are literally torn apart by maddened Rachni warriors.

Here is a Krogan shooting an Asari commando point-blank (there go her entrails just all over the place). Its counterpart depicts another Asari commando ripping that Krogan's jaws open farther than their hinges can go, yanking out his tongue.

"Jesus, Grunt, this is what was in your head that whole time?"

"Indeed. And it took me the better half of my life struggling to express it in a way that did not recreate it. Well, recently anyway. We did a whole lot of killing before I could get to here," he nudges Shepard playfully.

"Your work is…striking," says Sarah

"Thank you. That is one of the adjectives I was shooting for. 'Striking', heh," he notices Sarah's unease. "Hmm, to really appreciate this stuff you need some alcohol in you. Hey! Server monkey!" A waiter hurries over to them, struggling under the wait of the many ryncol flagons he is made to carry. Grunt takes three and sends the hapless young Turian his way.

He gives two to Shepard and Sarah, and then raises his flagon in a toast. "To a good time, eh?"

Sarah then finds herself letting loose. Way more loose than she usually does. Partly because the alcohol is strong (without tasting like ass), but also because Krogan art showings aren't complete without a lot of raucous drinking, boasting, and artistic debate and discussion (in the form of senseless yelling).

In other words, this is what it is like to party with Shepard.

Which is why Sarah is currently, five minutes later, shouting down a grown-ass, genetically perfect Krogan.

"Why did you only color your eyes for this one?!" she yells gesticulating furiously at a choice piece depicting the artist himself being engineered by Okeer (the accompanying piece depicts Shepard discharging her assault rifle into Jedore's disintegrating torso. You had to be there to understand it, making this piece in particular something of an inside joke)

"It's symbolic! My birth was the advent for the Krogan's uplifting! Not one year later we were rid of the Genophage!"

"Oh…I thou- *hic* I thought that was Shepard"

"It was! Which is why I colored her eyes in this next one. Observe! One iris is red, while the other is blue! Each one represents-"

"Whatever! It's cool bro! You should totally keep it up with the making of…making of….arts!"

"Ha! I like you Sarah! You might be a weakling, but you _understand_"

"Ooooooooooh. *hic* That is…that is so…*sniff* nice. I just love your art man, and I love you. I just…I'm gonna put that out there. This stuff, this stuff here? It is the bees fuckin' knees, Grunt"

Shepard and Grunt exchange amused glances. Sarah cannot hold her liquor, but she is having the time of her life. Mission accomplished. They high-five.

The three of them settle down in a corner of the gallery which has been fixed with a bar area, and they have a heated discussion about Sarah's love life.

* * *

Next Chapter: Happens at the same time as this one, only from Benny and Liara's perspective. And the confrontation.


	6. The Vicious Cycle

The next chapter marks this story's passing into the "M" rating. Nothing too explicit though.

* * *

Benny carries on with her work, trying and just barely managing to ignore that niggling doubt that's wriggling in her chest. She should be out there with Sarah, she did promise after all, the least she could have done was pick her up at the airport. And the work is important, but nothing that can't be put on hold…

_Bah! There's no use in regretting my decision now. Focus on work._

"Okay Mr. Navu, start the procedure"

"Yes Doctor"

In the containment chamber a lone banshee sits placidly behind the glass, curled up in a fetal position. It does not move, or even scream, just looks into space in its addled tech-catatonia. Navu inputs a sequence on his console, and a controlled electric charge is released into the chamber. Behind the glass, the docile Banshee is jolted into activity and it starts screaming, the noise cancelled out by the sound-proof glass. It writhes and shakes in impotent fury, banging its head and claws against its confines.

Navu inputs another sequence and restraints leap from the floor to hold the Banshee in place. Almost instantly the nightmarish creature is pacified.

"Diana, the serum?"

"Ready for inoculation Doctor"

"Good. Commence retro-synthetic reversal," a mechanical arms brandishing a needle unfolds from the top of the chamber. Benny brings up a display on her omni tool, thumbing an activation switch, "now"

The needle sinks into a painstakingly precise point in the Banshee's spine, slowly inserting chemicals into a long-dormant nervous system. More apparatuses unfurl in the chamber, attaching themselves to the Banshee's body.

"Monitoring equipment in place. Subject is stable"

"Continue with the operation"

"Yes Doctor." The chamber floods with thick sludge, immersing the Banshee so that all Benny could see of it was a faint outline. "We are poised and ready, all that you need to do is flip the switch"

All heads turn to look at Benny. Her hand hovers above the implementation switch. She hesitates; success or failure, what she is about to do is the culmination of many decades of work, an intellectual brainpile composed of the efforts of thousands of brilliant minds, at which she only coincidentally stands at the top.

She flips the switch.

Instantly the interior of the containment chamber is wreathed in in light, illuminating the creature within. It begins to visibly deteriorate, chunks of synthetic meat detaching and disintegrating until all that is left is a preserved series of nerves and organs wrapped like Christmas lights around distended metal bones. These shrink somewhat, but by a disappointingly small margin.

"Original DNA structure pinpointed, eliminating junk sequences"

The mangled remains of the Banshee are slowly, amazingly, ensconced in organic flesh, realizing right on the bone. The process has to be fast or it cannot be done at all, the reaper DNA is too prolific. Before too long the procedure is finished and a tense silence fills the room. Benny's assistants exchange glances; did it work?

"Empty the chamber." The sludge drains from the chamber, slowly revealing what for all intents and purposes appears to be a slightly taller than average Asari maiden. Benny opens the chamber and catches the girl as the restraints unfasten. She is heavy, her muscles are much too dense, but she looks fine, normal even.

"Get a bed ready!"

Attendants wheel in a stretcher and reverentially place the Asari atop it. They leave the room with a few scientists trailing after. Benny does not follow. There is no point. The subject will likely not wake up for another twenty-four hours, and even then she might not be entirely herself, despite the measures Benny took to theoretically make sure that happened.

She feels exhausted and giddy at the same time.

"Navu, I'm going to pass out in a few seconds. Would you kindly have someone help you carry me to my office?" And with that she promptly collapses in a boneless heap.

* * *

Benny wakes up on her office sofa happy and well-rested. She stretches her arms and legs out, gasping with satisfaction as her joints crack into place.

"It's unhealthy falling asleep in that position," Benny yelps as she spots Liara at her desk, perusing her console.

"Mom! What are you doing here?"

"Are these notes true? Was the procedure a success?"

"Uh, yeah, phase one anyway. We have yet to see if the results are truly promising, but…" Benny grins, "We at least have a viable physical transformation procedure"

"Then all your hard work has paid off," Liara gets up and crosses the room to hug her daughter, "I am so proud of you, little wing"

Benny returns the hug, "Thanks mom"

"I saw your work logs; you've been spending a lot of time at the office"

"Er, yeah I guess. I lose track of time a lot"

Benny chuckles under her breath, "Hmmm, you really are my daughter. I was the same way not too long ago." This makes sense because Liara is actually quite young to be a mother. This is why, though Liara is a stern parent, there are times when Benny feels that their connection is almost sisterly.

Today it is not so sisterly.

"I remember being hard at work on my office on Illium, chasing the most recent obsession," she sighs, "glorious days in their own way. It might have been fun if only I wasn't constantly worried about your father shacking up with broody Drell Assassins or sexy Justicars"

Where the hell did _that_ come from?

"Huh?" She asks with a confused smile. The smile fades as Liara goes on.

"But that's the price you pay for your work. In the end she didn't do any of those things, but I guess I was just lucky," she fixes Benny with a very pointed look. Benny, unaccustomed to her mother's disapproval (or anyone's really, save Sarah as of late), takes a moment to get the message.

"I feel like you're trying to tell me something"

"Am I? I'm just a mother stopping by to tell my little girl how proud I am," she kisses Benny on the head. "And to warn her not to make the same mistakes I made, not without knowing what those decisions might entail"

"Moo~ooom, you're being ominous"

"I think I'm being quite clear, dear," and with that Liara saunters out of them room, every inch the hot Mom Benny grew up aspiring to be (a role model who, most days, unintentionally makes her a little insecure about herself, if she is honest). Before she closes the door behind her Liara speaks up, "Oh, and you've been here long enough I think. Sarah is waiting for you at home"

_How does Mom always __know__ everything?_

* * *

Benny enters her apartment with the nervously wary air of someone looking to avoid a bullet they know is coming. She slips off her shoes, takes off her coat, and proceeds into the house. The lights are off, which may be a good thing; it may be a bad thing. If this is anything like the many romantic comedies that are Benny's guilty pleasure then Sarah will be sitting at the armchair, ready to sneak attack her with a casual turning on of the lights and a "going somewhere?" ready at the lips.

But Sarah is not in the armchair, neither is she on the sofa, the bed, or in the game room.

No, Benny is confused to eventually find Sarah slumped at the kitchen counter. A blanket has been placed on her shoulders, as if someone has already seen her in that state and laid it there.

"Sarah?"

Sarah is motionless. Like a ponderous sea lion. Benny wonders how that comparison popped into her head. She shakes Sarah's shoulder.

The blanket slides off, revealing the gorgeous dress Sarah is wearing, a dress that, if Benny remembers correctly, Sarah had jokingly promised she would wear for her when she got off the shuttle. Benny doesn't stifle the guilt, letting it wash over her as she believes it should. How could she have let this woman arrive on the citadel alone? Worse still, why did she have to send her father to pick her up, of all people? Sarah is scared of her father!

Benny feels like a jerk. She decides not to wake Sarah, instead moving to gently lift her from the stool.

"You're home!" Sarah thrusts her arms out, stumbling off the stool. She supports herself on the counter, the other hand upraised with an accusing finger. "You're finally home, you trollop, and boy do I have a bone to pick with you. Several, in fact!"

"Are you drunk?"

"Am I drunk? What kind of question is that you…you…you insensitive prick!? I am not drunk, I'm just boiling in a molten kiddy-pool of rage, and…and I am about to bring down the motherfucking house on your ass"

"Okay…"

"First of all, where do you get off suddenly being the pants in this little operation?" Sarah wags her hand to and fro between them as if to confirm that they two are indeed the 'little operation' of which she speaks. "You used to be so shy and bookish, and I was like definitely the man," Sarah shakes her head, "no, sorry. I'm being racially insensitive. I mean the dominant one. Is that right? Your dad and I had a talk about pronouns and- you know what? It wasn't important. Where was I going with this? Arg! I'm so confused!"

"Well why don't I help you to bed then?" Sarah slaps away Benny's cautiously approaching hand.

"No! I'm mad now dammit! And if I don't talk about this now, then I'm going to stop being mad, and in the morning I'll just be depressed! I don't like being depressed it sucks!"

"You're depressed?" Benny asks distraught. The situation has slipped away from her and is now absconding quite rapidly.

"Don't change the subject…god you're so pretty. Let's go have anger sex on the couch"

"What?!"

"No you're right!" Sarah slaps her own cheeks, "Stay focused Sarah. You have something you gotta say and by god you are gonna say it"

"Eh?"

Sarah looks her straight in the eye, mustering the many pints of liquid courage coursing through her stomach and brain. "Do you want to break up?" She asks. Before Benny can yelp in protest Sarah goes on, "I mean that's what it feels like to me sometimes. I'll be all like 'hey Benny, I'm done for the day, I can't wait to see you when I get home,' and you say 'not tonight Sarah, I have work,' and then I come home to this fucking depressing apartment and watch your stupid rom-com vids and masturbate until I fall asleep!"

"Uh…"

"You know how much mileage I've got out of that stupid vibrator? Like…I don't even know, an absurd amount. My mother would be shocked, Benny! Shocked! Nobody with a girlfriend should have to masturbate that much!"

"I had no idea…"

"And I don't think I've done anything to make you angry, at least I don't think I did…Did I? I feel so confused sometimes. Do you not like me anymore or something? Is it something I did? Is it something I'm not doing? It feels like I'm the only one worrying about these things, and god I feel like such a _girl_, but you won't talk to me about it. You're always at work! Always the next big discovery!"

Sarah wobbles in place, "There, I'm done. I just brought a whole warehouse-load of bitchtastic to your grill. What." As she stumbles Benny rushes to catch her.

"Sarah are you crying?"

"Idiot! You don't ask a girl that question, fuck," she says this as she's wiping away the few tears man enough to escape her tear ducts. The rest, she is holding in with dictatorial force.

Benny swallows, "I had no idea I was making you feel that way. I'm sorry Sarah"

"Whatever. It's not like I care"

"Don't say that. Baby I'm so sorry. I don't want to break up! I don't want that ever!"

"Well pay me some friggin' attention sometimes!" She sniffles.

"Yeah okay, I'll make it up to you I swear"

Sarah looks hesitant, "…Yeah?"

"Yeah. I'll, I don't know, I'll take you out more, and I'll spend more time at home. Honestly I've been wanting to, but I just get carried away at work"

"Will you get better movies?"

"Yeah"

"Will you get me some of that expensive Serris Ice Brandy I like?"

"Er, okay…"

"Will you massage my feet like you used to do when we were in college?"

"Haha, yeah I will"

This seems to sober her, "Oh god, I'm so embarrassed now. When _did _I become the girl in this relationship"

"I wouldn't know. Alien gender constructs have always confused me"

They laugh, and whatever pressure was building up between them in the last couple of weeks dissipates into nothingness. Giving way to Sarah desperate to give a sound symbolic farewell to her vibrator.

"Hey Benny, let's do it in the living room"

"What!?"

"I'm totally serious right now," she slides one of her dress straps provocatively off her shoulder, "we haven't in so long"

"Can't we go upstairs?"

"No! I want it now. And it's kinkier this way, don't you think?" And without any more preamble Sarah takes ahold of Benny and kisses her hard, pressing against her for some satisfying boob squish. With one strap already slid off, the jostling slides Sarah's dress down to her waist.

This sends Benny over the edge, and in one giant hormonal rush she realizes how much time it's been since they've had sex. _What the hell is wrong with me?_ She fumbles at her own clothes, first tearing off her shirt and then stumbling backwards as Benny pushes her, eventually landing backwards onto the living room sofa. Sarah grins and assists in the removal of her pants.

"Sarah-" She's cut off by Sarah biting down on the inside of her thigh, licking along its length, hands prowling tantalizingly close to an increasingly itchy area. Grinning, Sarah removes Benny's underwear and gets to work on some insane tongue action, rendering Benny a helpless, gasping mess. Managing to sit up straight, Benny blushes as she holds Sarah's head, gently nudging it in places that are driving her increasingly more crazy.

"Sarah I'm close…!" Benny's eyes erupt in the corona of blue and white biotics, making Sarah's breath hitch as they share in a pleasure vastly surpassing the capabilities of Sarah's soon to be very neglected vibrator. The two of them embrace eternity, Sarah giving Benny a mix of physical and mental pleasure that has Benny lost in her own loving oblivion for what seems like forever (but is really about a minute).

As she orgasms, launching Sarah into her own wave of mental pleasure, she lets out a moan so erotic that Sarah practically vibrates with anticipation for the night's activities. There are still so many feelings that need airing out, and this is the best way to do it!

Unfortunately…

Jane Shepard, who Sara had forgotten was out getting some ingredients for a hangover cure, chooses at that very moment to walk up to the girls' apartment, open the door, and walk in on the scene in the living room, just at the tail-end of Benny's orgasm.

Immediately she drops her shopping bags, making Sarah and Benny dart their heads in her direction. They are both mortified, but astounded at the sight of a woman screaming in horror, making an alarmingly earnest attempt to gouge out her own eyes.

"DAD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

"Oh yeah, I knew I forgot about something"

"SWEET HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK! Why does this this keep happening to me?!" Jane Shepard shouts, proceeding to quite literally sprint all the way back home in tears, kick open her door, and embrace her (amused) wife in a bear hug that, though comforting, does nothing to stave away the mental image now seared into her brain.


	7. Simpler Times

**A significant while ago**

Jack tries to settle down the wriggling little Asari on her lap, struggling to do so with the sides of her arms as her hands are occupied with an open book. Benny just laughs as the biotic attempts story time without swearing.

"Dammi! Fuuuuu-! Er, fiddlesticks! God, that sounds stupid. Settle down! Why are you so hyper?"

"Read it again! Read it again!"

"No! I don't want to read it again, we're moving on to the next story!"

"I wanna read it again!"

"Why!? We've read it twice already"

Benny pouts, "But Daddy's here now and she hasn't heard you do it with the funny voices." Jack looks up, horrified. Shepard smirks as she leans against the doorway, arms smugly crossed. Jack, in her embarrassment, doesn't even wonder how Shepard got there, or how she did it so silently.

"She does funny voices huh?" Jack glares daggers at her, raising her hands up so that Benny can't see the middle fingers.

"Yeah! And it's the best! Come on! Read it again! Read it again!" Benny starts hopping up and down, effectively hitting her tailbone against Jack's thighs

"Gah! Is your butt made of marble!?"

Benny giggles, "What? Daddy what does that mean?" Benny queries to her father who is, unsuccessfully, trying desperately not to laugh.

"It means you're hurting Jack and it's time for us to go to home," Shepard scoops her up one-armed, accepting the book that Jack had been reading with the other. "Was she much trouble?"

"Not really, little snot's actually pretty cool," Jack gives the kid a good-natured ruffling of the scalp. Benny shakes her head to get away. Both adults laugh.

"What do you say to Jack?"

This elicits a bashful "Thank you Jack," from Benny.

"No problem kiddo," she smiles at Benny with so much warmth that Shepard almost takes a picture. The effect is quite ruined when Jack looks up at her and scowls.

Before Shepard turns to leave, Benny starts struggling, making swimming motions in the air towards Jack "What? What is it?"

"Bring me to Jack! I wanna say goodbye." Shrugging, Shepard puts her down. Benny trots over to Jack's booted feet and beckons the woman to lower to equal height, which Jack does with an amused sigh.

"G'bye squirt"

"Bye," Benny leans over and plants a kiss on Jack's cheek, taking both adults by surprise, though not too much of a surprise because Benny is a child and such an action is more cute than anything else.

"Uh, thanks, what was that for?"

"That's what Daddy does to Mommy whenever she leaves the house"

"Okay, cool, I guess"

"When I grow up I'ma marry you, and then I'll kiss you every day!" And because, from a child, such a proposition is just downright adorable, Shepard starts howling with laughter as a befuddled Jack struggles to come to grips with reality.

"Well look at that Jack, you're my little girl's first crush," Benny runs behind Shepard's legs and hides her face shyly. "Thanks again for looking after her, same time next week?" And with that Shepard and Benny are out the door.

Jack, meanwhile, after squatting in the exact same position Shepard left her in, walks to her TV and turns it on, not really paying attention to it. Blasto murders the scoundrels of the universe right and left, flipping and shooting in eye-arresting extra high-definition. Jack doesn't see it.

"What the fuck just happened?"

* * *

**An even more significant while ago**

"Beneziah…It's kind of an old lady name isn't it?" Shepard says this while absentmindedly poking her baby daughter's face. The cheeks are so soft that they cannot help but invite a considerable poking. Little Beneziah's eye-ridges crinkle in her sleep with each soft touch.

Liara slaps her hand away. "Stop doing that. And what's wrong with 'Beneziah'? I thought you _liked_ 'Beneziah'"

The two of them are lounging on their bed, not one week after Beneziah's birth, with the little blue baby in question swaddled in between them. They stare at her, transfixed with the new addition to their lives.

"I do! It's just, come on, every time I hear that name I imagine an older woman. It's like when you name a human boy 'Melvin'… or 'Nigel'"

"I still don't see your point"

"It's just a very…_fancy_ name is all. We should shorten it, give her a nickname"

"My father referred to my Mother as 'Nezzy'"

"Nezzy…Nezzy…" Shepard tests how it sounds. She frowns, "Hmmm, something still isn't quite right. Hey kiddo," she says, addressing her sleeping daughter, "what do you think of that? Do you want me to call you 'Nezzy'?"

The baby lets out a gurgle that vaguely sounds like disapproval.

"Well that name's out"

Liara laughs, "She didn't actually reject it you goof. She's a baby"

"My little girl is going to be serious business. She's going to change the galaxy all the different ways. If she says no, then by god we should listen"

Liara laughs again, "What are you even talking about?" She asks, crawling around Beneziah to give her bondmate a kiss on the temple.

"I'm just talking. You can tune me out if you want"

"I usually do"

"Ooh, ouch. You hear that princess? Mommy is the abusive one in this relationship. Sooner or later I'm going to have to take you out of the room so she can give me a sound spanking"

Liara gives Shepard an actual slap to the behind in mock anger. "Don't listen to her Benny, your father exaggerates"

"Wait, what did you call her?"

"Benny. What do you think?"

"Benny…Benny…Hey Benny, do you like it when I call you Benny?" Benny opens her eyes and stares at them with that sort of half-lidded baby gaze. This lasts five seconds before she goes back to sleep. "I think we have a winner"

* * *

**The present-most point in the story **

"Jane? Jane?"

"Hwah! Whozzat!?"

Shepard wakes up with her head in Liara's lap. She realizes that they are on the very bed that she was just reminiscing about in her dream, Liara with her legs drawn up so she can comfortably allow Shepard to use them as a pillow. A book lies forgotten to the side, and Shepard wonders how long they have been like this. Maybe hours; the passage of time does not seem so bad a thing when you are content.

The morning is already waning outside, and fake noonday sunlight shines through the window slats.

"You weren't having the same nightmare again were you?"

"No, thank god." The memory of Benny's orgasm flashes unbidden. Shepard shudders, "But I'm thinking about it now. Dammit"

Liara just laughs, "What were you dreaming about?"

"Simpler times, I guess." Times when she didn't have to deal with the biological misfortune that was her daughter's sex drive.

Shepard is silent for a good long while, turning over and curling around Liara like a cat, burying her head into her bondmate's stomach. In this position, it is with slight contorting that she wraps her arms around Liara's torso.

"Mmmmfff," she muffles.

Liara laughs, tickled by Shepard speaking into her stomach, "What was that dear?"

"I lrff yoo"

Liara takes a while to figure out what she's said, but when she pieces it together she smiles and scratches Shepard's head affectionately, "I love you too"

Shepard unfurls and lies down normally, meeting Liara's questioning gaze. They look at each other, and for an instant they are back on the Normandy all those years ago. Before the end.

"_It would be so easy for a single ship to get lost up there…"_

"…_where you could spend the rest of your life someplace far away in peace and happiness."_

"Jane you're crying"

"Got something in my eye." Shepard wipes the tears away and laughs. "Hey Liara"

"What is it?" Liara asks, concerned.

"I love you, you know"

"Haha, You already said that"

"I just had to say it again"

"Well I love you too"

"Hey Liara?"

"Yes?"

"What do you think about having another little blue child?"

* * *

Author's note: I don't think I'll ever find a fic that gives me the sort of closure I needed for Shepard and Liara's relationship. The ending to ME3 sort of scrapped that all to hell. Maybe I'll try writing that fic one day, but for now I have the last section of this chapter as a tribute to femshep/liara.

Wow, I'm such a nerd for Mass Effect.


	8. On Tastes and TV Shows

Author: I introduce a new character in this one. Her name is Sandra. She has a Southern accent. American South, not Estuary English. Think Dallas from Suburgatory, if you watch Suburgatory.

* * *

**Only a little while ago, comparatively**

Everyone is, at least on some level, attracted to the Asari. Of course this attraction varies in degree. Most all people are able to at least acknowledge their aesthetic qualities, and to many, this realization is not strictly objective.

Of course, just because everyone is attracted to the Asari doesn't mean that the Asari are indiscriminately attracted to everybody. They simply are vastly more inclined than other races to appreciate the aesthetic value of those other races.

This, to many people, can be very confusing. For humans especially, attraction to the Asari is a confusing issue, and to many people is a transformative process.

Such was the case of Sarah Stottlemeyer as she embarked on the journey of self-discovery that was college.

She sits now in her room, fumbling through the extranet for Asari porn. It is a very mixed bag. She clicks on a link to human woman on Asari porn. What she discovers there makes her doubt her entire mortal experience.

Ever since she was a little girl, Sarah was straight. She did not _think_ she was straight, she just was; it was an intrinsic part of her being. She was attracted to boys, and as she grew up, she came to be attracted to men.

It was a fairly natural progression. Almost mathematical.

This progression however was interrupted when, one fateful day, she was paired with Beneziah T'Soni in class and had the foundation of her sexuality completely and irrevocably rocked. Something about this bookish girl made her nervous; made her shiver when their hands accidentally touched, made her breath escape her body when Beneziah smiled at her, made her heart flutter when Beneziah complimented her.

Needless to say, it was a thoroughly confused Sarah that left the classroom that day.

She had met Asari before. She wasn't attracted to them. But she had read somewhere that for every person in the galaxy there is at least one Asari, a gateway Asari if you will, to whom they become so attracted that they develop a taste for all the others.

For Sarah this was especially true with Beneziah T'Soni. In her confusion she spent a great deal of time perusing porn sites, satisfied with surreptitiously scratching this new itch with tawdry videos of licentious blue aliens. The more she watched, the more confused she got. Her confusion reached its peak when she found herself looking more and more, not only at Asari, but human women as well.

It was a fairly natural progression. An almost mathematical, if not extremely disconcerting, self-discovery. She was not the first woman (of any species) to undergo this, nor would she be the last.

And through it all, through the haze of an ever-expanding porn folder, there lingered the image of Beneziah T'Soni, not even doing anything especially sexy; just helping her with her lab work. Writing down figures, pouring chemicals from one beaker into another, shyly smiling at her when the work was done; that girl was so fuckin' _hawt_.

Her own mind-vocabulary startled her.

Unsure of her own evolving sexual tastes, she sought advice from that one unshakeable rock of emotional support: her mother. She makes the trip out to the colonies for this visit, costs be damned. Sarah is extremely close to her mother.

"Mom…I…I don't know...something strange is going on"

"Baby, just tell me. You can tell me anything," Sandra Stottlemeyer's gentle voice is naturally soothing. It's like talking to a petite doe-eyed fairy godmother. She reaches across the table to take her daughter's hand in comfort.

"I don't even know how to begin. I've been having all these strange feelings…"

"Strange how?"

"Mom, I think I'm attracted to a girl"

"Oh! Oh dear"

"Yeah…"

"How long have you been attracted to girls dear? I thought you were-"

"I thought that too! But I just…I met this one girl and…I don't know. Ever since, I've been having these thoughts and feelings. Like, I want to ask her out and stuff. I want to kiss her. I've never felt this way before"

"Oh honey-baby-sweety-doll," Sandra beckons her daughter over with insistent hand flapping, "c'mere"

The weight of her confusion needing a release, a distraught Sarah welcomes her mother's embrace. She doesn't cry though, she isn't _that _distraught, just sublimely confused.

"I know you must be really confused. You're at that time in your life when you become receptive to all the possibilities in life," she strokes Sarah's hair, "I accept you no matter what. But you have to be careful, this girl might not feel the same way about women"

"I don't know, I…I keep thinking that maybe if I just asked her…"

"Oh dear, you really are smitten aren't you? What's this luck lady's name?"

"Beneziah T'Soni"

Sandra immediately stops stroking and holds her daughter at arm's length, scrutinizing her with narrowed eyes. "T'Soni? Is this girl an Asari?"

"Y-yes," Sarah's heart begins to pound.

Sandra looks at her for a long time, grim-faced, making Sarah extremely apprehensive. After a while, Sandra's expression cracks and she snorts, then laughs like a tickled madman. It is quite unbecoming of the petite woman's usual placidity.

"What? What is it?"

"Hahahahaha! _That's_ your problem? You're attracted to-" She erupts into even more hysterics, "heeheehee, you're attracted to an Asari?"

Sarah is a little annoyed now. "Yeah, I am. What's so funny about that?"

Sandra wipes away tears as she rests a comforting hand on Sarah's shoulder, "Baby-sweety, _everyone_ is attracted to the Asari. It's natural!"

"What!?"

"Yes! Nothing weird about that. Hoho, can you imagine? Is this why you've been acting strange in the last few weeks?"

"Yes!" She had been having a lot of erotic dreams about Beneziah! And about Asari in general! And even some strange ones about being dominated by strong, famous human women! Sarah is becoming quite tired of her mother's flippant attitude to her confusion. "It's not strange?"

"Honey-pie, _I'm _attracted to Asari. Why do you think I like _Outlaws of the Code_ so much?"

"What!? I don't know! The action scenes are pretty good!? Oh god, is this why you don't like me watching them with you? What do you do in there?"

"Baby I don't give a flying patoot about any action scenes. Have you seen what that woman wears? I swear, it always gets me all hot and bothered." Sandra blushes shyly.

"But…what about Dad!?"

"Don't get me wrong. I was attracted to your father too, may he rest in peace. And I am still attracted to men. But Asari…are attractive on a whole different level. Sometimes, oh I feel silly even telling you this, sometimes I have these fantasies…"

Sarah faints from too-much-information overload.

Weeks later she summons her courage and approaches Beneziah T'Soni in the hallway.

"Hi, er, Beneziah? Can I borrow you for a minute? I have something important to ask you"

* * *

**Quite a Bit Later**

Liara goggles at the realization that the woman in front of her is a _Code_ fan like herself. Sandra merely goggles, still unused to being in the presence of a veritable galactic legend. Shepard, recognizing the enthusiasm lighting up on her bondmate's face decides to get out of the room to escape the imminent nerdgasm.

"Okay Liara, Sandra, I'm going to excuse myself for now. Maybe I'll go see what the girls are…" she stops herself mid-sentence. "…Up to. Nevermind, I'll be in the basement"

Let's rewind a bit.

Sarah had met Benny's parents, Benny had met Sarah's parent; Liara had figured it was high time that the parents meet each other, and so had arranged for Sandra to visit her daughter on the Citadel, a visit that included a day at the T'Soni household.

Sandra was, naturally, unprepared to learn that her daughter was dating the progeny of Commander Shepard herself ("Sandra, you don't have to call me 'Commander'. Why does everyone still call me that? I haven't been a commander in years!"). She was so taken aback that she had stuttered and mumbled through her own introduction. Galactic legends or no however, Shepard and Liara were still people, and cognizant of this, Sandra gradually became more comfortable.

Still, the introductory small talk was more than a little tense, as any first meeting between parents whose children are dating each other is bound to be. Shepard mostly sipped her tea in lieu of talking, and Sandra struggled to overcome her stammers. Liara was carrying the whole conversation, with occasional help from Benny and Sarah.

And then someone brought up the topic of _Outlaws of the Code_, which brings us to the present. No-one really remembers who brought it up. Benny, perhaps, in an attempt to break the ice by bringing up favored TV shows. But whoever did it, elicited the following reaction from Sarah's mother:

"Oh I love that show! I have every boxed set to date!" She mulls in quiet embarrassment, "Oh my, how unbecoming. I've only just met you and there I go acting like a schoolgirl"

Liara is deathly quiet, "You are a _Code_ fan?"

"Er, yes"

The girls excuse themselves, and as soon as Shepard sees the look in her bondmate's eyes, she does too.

"Okay Liara, Sandra, I'm going to excuse myself for now. Maybe I'll go see what the girls are…up to. Nevermind, I'll be in the basement." She scurries off.

"Oh my, that was strange"

Liara ignores that, "I must admit, I too enjoy watching it from time to time." An understatement. Liara T'Soni is a stark raving fangirl. She watches each episode as it comes out (often making Shepard watch them with her), discusses them on forums as soon as it's over, and buys the merchandise whenever she can (putting it to dubious use, as Shepard (and Sarah) could attest).

"Oh? How nice! I didn't really want to watch it at first because everyone liked it and I didn't want to be part of the bandwagon. But then I watched the first episode and, well, it was really good!"

"Yes, the pilot was excellent. Though I don't think it was until the second season that Disasia," (the name of the head writer), "truly spreads her wings." Liara immediately realizes that she might have revealed too much about herself, "*ahem!* I mean, uh, it's just a good season"

"Oh I knooow! That's when the show really takes off. Marcella," (the protagonist, a rogue Justicar out to kick ass and take names, code be damned. She has a tough exterior that makes the ladies swoon, and a gentle demeanor underneath that exterior that only intensifies the swooning), "really comes into her own there. The actress…oh shoot, what was her name again?"

"Ensis K'Gassin," Liara answers much too quickly.

"Right! She plays that role so wonderfully! But if you watch 'the making of' she's actually quite friendly. Ehe, I feel a little embarrassed admitting this but I actually once stood in line for three hours to get a picture with her. Do you want to see?" She pulls up the image on her omnitool

The photo depicts Sandra looking like she is about to faint while the Asari actress slings an amicable arm over her shoulders. Liara is silent for a moment, considering whether or not she wants to do what she is considering doing. After a few painstaking moments she decides: "I have something to show you"

She takes the woman deeper into the apartment, revealing that it is actually much larger than it looks on the outside. They eventually arrive at a closed door that Liara pauses in front of, mulling over her decision one last time, before steeling herself and ushering Sandra in.

This was a tough decision for Liara as she did not have many people in her life with which to share her love for _Outlaws of the Code_.

"Oh my…"

A love big enough to warrant an entire room in the house dedicated to _Code _memorabilia. This is what Liara does when she isn't running the Galaxy (and all the other cool stuff she does).

Sandra looks at upon the room in wonder. There is a replica of the rifle Marcella uses! There's a (recently used) replica of the (scanty) battle robes! Andohmigosh, Sqeee! There's a signed poster by Disasia herself!

Sandra looks Liara straight in the eye. "This. Is. So. Coooooooool"

In an instant a friendship is forged in the hot irons of mutual fandom. They peruse Liara's extensive collection, chatting nonstop about their favorite aspects of the show. Favorite character, favorite episode, favorite season, favorite nuances of the show's writing; favorite pretty much everything.

"I don't recognize this scene in any of the episodes," Sandra remarks, breath-taken, as they pass by a particular poster of Marcella in the passionate embraces of Lizelle, the slightly touched-in-the head Asari Specter often tasked with bringing Marcella down, though she never quite succeeds. Subtext at its finest really.

Liara gazes wistfully upon the poster, "It's a fanart I had commissioned. It cost me…well not very much at all, but I value it highly"

And so began the lengthy shipping discussion, consisting mainly of the phrase "why don't people see it!?" As seasoned shippers, both women had to cope with the fact that they were (at least in the world outside the extranet) alone in their hyper-particular fervor for _Outlaws of the Code _shipping. Truly this was a fortuitous meeting.

"Sandra I am very glad to have met you," Liara says as she and Shepard walk the Stottlemeyers out the door.

"Oh honey, c'mere!"

"Oh, oh okay," Liara was not expecting the sudden hug, but accepts it bemusedly.

"And you'll show me how to make an account on-"

"Yes! yes, of course. I'll email you." Shepard looks at her bondmate in amusement. Liara's predilections were no secret to her (as the leather burns could attest), but it was still cute that Liara gets embarrassed about it every now and then.

Liara closes the door and her daughter and bondmate eye her with a pair of smug grins that say "We know how much you were fangirling up there." Liara stares the both of them down and straightens her nonexistent coat.

"What?" she asks, as they giggle, "don't think you have the upper hand here. _I know your web histories_." The gigging immediately stops. "That's what I thought." And she walks away in a manner most dignified.

* * *

Author: Maybe I got too carried away here. We'll..we'll see. Anyway, thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I friggin' love reviews.


	9. How to propose to an Asari

Many people consider modeling to be an easy job. Between looking pretty, posing, and pointing at things; really, what's there to stress out about? Put someone in nice clothing (or put them in revealing clothing) and wham, bam, boom, you're solid.

Of course this is a gross under-exaggeration, and untrue. Modeling is very difficult. There's a whole lifestyle to maintain; a diet to adopt, a workout schedule to adhere to. A model has to cope with objectification and judgment, and in this multi-species galactic community, there are cultural nuances to learn and perspectives of attraction to consider. Not to even mention the whole performance aspect.

Yes, modeling is very difficult indeed, but it is a decision Sarah would make all over again were she given the chance. She gets to travel a lot, indulge in a love of fashion, and she meets a variety of interesting people. Her co-workers are a case and point.

Her current agency is actually Asari-owned, and while they do a lot of work for multi-species channels and publications, they are aimed predominantly at Asari-appeal media. This is why the majority of Sarah's peers, superiors, and interns are, in fact, Asari of varying age and parentage.

This is a good thing, as Sarah has been flipping a question around in her head for a very long time, a question that only an Asari can really answer.

The Asari she chooses to pose the question to is her good friend, and fellow model, Jyana. Jyana is in her matron stage, but this doesn't really mean much as, superficially, most Asari are "young-looking" until they hit the matriarch stage, and even then they look spectacular. It's like they trade one kind of beauty for another. But Jyana's beauty is something else. Something in between the youthful look of the first two stages and the wise air of the third; motherly and sisterly at the same time, an aspect of her appearance well-translated into her personality, which makes her easy to talk to.

This is why Sarah waits until Jyana is alone in her dressing room to ask her question.

"Jyana"

"Oh, hey Sarah. Good job today, I could never contort like that without pulling a muscle"

A nervous laugh, "Well, you know, dancing classes"

"I'll have to try one sometime," Jyana catches the look in Sarah's eye, "anyway, what's up?"

"I have a question…"

"What is it?"

Sarah is silent for a while, "Sorry. It's…a little hard to ask"

"Take your time darling. Do you mind if I work on my makeup while we talk?"

"Oh no. Not at all. Go ahead." Jyana smiles kindly before turning to her mirror and wiping foundation off her face. Sarah gathers her courage, "Jyana?"

"Yes dear?"

"How do Asari bonding proposals work?"

Jyana is so taken aback that she drags her wipe over an eye, shrieking as the chemicals seep beneath her eyelid.

"Oh my god, are you okay!?"

In response Jyana runs to a nearby sink and starts rinsing her eyes out. Sarah waits awkwardly in her seat, knowing there's nothing more she can do to help, but still wanting to and feeling bad for not being able to.

Mara, one of Sarah and Jyana's many intern assistants busts into the room. "What's wrong?! What happened?!" She rushes to Jyana's side, "Are you okay? Anything broken?"

Jyana laughs self-deprecatingly, waving a calming hand for the younger Asari as she turns off the tap, "I'm fine, I'm fine. Just a little accident"

Mara turns to Sarah, confused, then back to Jyana. "Okay, what just happened here?"

"I was startled by a question Sarah just asked me," Jyana says, looking thrilled. Mara cocks an eyebrow. Sarah's eyes widen and she surreptitiously indicates for Jyana to stop talking by vigorously shaking her head and waving her arms.

"What did she ask you?"

"She asked me," Jyana gushes, ignoring Sarah, "about how to propose to an Asari!"

Both Asari focus all their attention on a cringing Sarah.

"Shit! Really?"

Sarah shushes her, "Not so loud! I don't want everyone in the building to hear." Most of them are Asari, all of them giant busy-bodies. She peeks her head out the dressing room door, looking both ways before closing it. "I was only going to ask Jyana, but I guess I'm asking you now too"

"Oh, by the goddess Sarah I'm so happy for you!" Jyana sweeps up the human in a hug.

Mara is more considerate, or less swept up in the moment, and so lowers her voice. "Yeah Sarah, wow, congratulations"

"Yeah, cool thanks. Anyway. Just, someone tell me what I'm supposed to do, or what I'm not supposed to do. Your whole monogender thing is really confusing. Should I do something or...do I wait for her to?"

Jyana and Mara exchange a look. "Well it varies" Mara says. "Most of us these days are happy to adopt the bondmate's courtship ritual. So…a ring would probably be okay, or whatever it is you practice"

Jyana looks pensive, "I suppose, but…I don't know. If my human girlfriend wanted to make things very special…maybe it's just me, but I would really love it if she proposed with a bonding bracelet"

"Bonding what now?" Asks Sarah.

"Oh it's just a silly old Thessian tradition. Not many people do it anymore"

Sarah considers, "Tell me about it"

Jyana bites her lip, "Well it's very…intimate. It's for when you want to…how do I say this? Convey a feeling so powerful that you can't even consider life without the other person. It's…it's a promise really, that you will always be there, that your love won't die." Jyana blushes, waving her hand dismissively, "It's wishy washy, I know, but getting one has been a secret fantasy of mine ever since I was young"

Sarah looks at Mara, "did you want one of those too?"

"Oh no way, of course not. Er, no offense"

The older Asari smiles, "None taken. I know the younger generation is more realistic than I am about these kinds of things"

Mara looks contrite. "Well, it's not like I _haven't_ thought about it. I mean…okay, if I _was_ going to propose to someone, take it to the next level or whatever, I'd," she narrows her eyes at them, "keep this between us okay?" She proceeds to detail the corniest possible proposal ever imagined, involving beaches, making love, passionate embraces, serenades, cooking, and acoustic guitars on even more beaches. And sunsets.

When she's finished she hides her face behind her hands.

"Okay…" Sarah manages, "I...don't think I'll need to go that far"

"Mara's suggestion is a little extreme," admits Jyana, "It's so cute that you want that!"

"Well sue me for wanting more in life!"

"Why don't you just ask in the middle of sex?" Shouts a voice from behind the door, immediately stifled by a chorus of shushes. All three of them freeze, exchanging glances. Mara looks particularly horrified.

Sarah walks up to the door, curling fingers over the handle and slowly, slowly swinging it open, revealing a cluster of Asari models pretending like they weren't listening to the entire conversation. Sarah stares at the lot of them, dumbfounded, and as soon as they realize that she's not buying their crap, they rapidly, one by one, break down and start swarming her with suggestions.

"Take her to Illium! There's this great hotel that has-"

"Do a striptease and whip out a bracelet when she's all worked up!"

"In the middle of sex! I already told you!"

"Do it like they did in Vaenia! With the handcuffs!"

"I like the ring idea"

"I had to headbutt mybondmate when I proposed. Then again, he's a Krogan so…"

"The intern's suggestion was pretty good. Cheesy, but good. She dating anyone?"

Sarah cradles her head in her hands as advice is flung at her, ruing that this isn't even going to be the hardest part.

* * *

**Later**

In the end seeking advice from her co-workers turned out to be a bust, and all of them had their own wildly unique suggestion or fantasy about how these things are supposed to go. But as much as they annoy her, they are her friends, and some small part of her is touched that they all care enough to meddle in her business. It was Jyana who eventually told her that no-one could come up with the best way to propose to Benny better than Sarah herself.

Sarah has her doubts. Mostly because her plan involves talking to her potential in-laws; asking for their blessing and whatnot. A very human tradition ravenously skewed in the modern age as, in this case, the father is not male, nor is the daughter human (and technically not really a girl).

This is why Sarah decides to undertake the time-honored tradition of taking her potential in-laws to lunch, choosing a nice bistro on the nicer (but not nicest) side of the Citadel, out-of-the-way enough so that people won't bum-rush the waiters trying to get an autograph from the Galaxy's most revered lady, but popular enough that the T'Sonis know she's making an effort.

But only one of them could make it.

Usually when she visits Benny's parents, she can always count on Liara's comforting presence to offset whatever fresh bout of awkwardness was lingering between her and Shepard. Right now there is no such buffer, as Liara is off enacting whatever Machiavellian designs she gets up to when she's working. As such, Sarah and Shepard find themselves awkwardly twiddling their thumbs behind their menus, and considering that last time Shepard saw her she had her face buried in between her daughter's legs, things are very award indeed.

Shepard clears her throat, "So you wanted to talk about something?" She manages to say this with a strained, but genuine, smile. The two of them are still friends, so being in close proximity isn't too difficult.

"Before I say what I came here to say…I just wanted to apologize-"

"Oh god," Shepard shakes her head, refusing to listen. Sarah continues despite the interruption.

"-for what you saw the other-"

"Uh-uh," Shepard covers her ears.

"-day. I was drunk, and I forgot you were there-"

"Lalalalalalalala"

"-and I got carried away and starting going down on-"

"-LALALALALALALALALA"

"-your daughter. And you saw that. So…"

Shepard keeps "LALALALA"ing until she notice that Sarah has stopped talking, whereupon she cautiously removes her hands from her ears.

"...I'm sorry," Sarah quickly finishes before Shepard can react.

The two of them look at each other in weary silence, a kind of satisfaction taking root now that they have managed to get passed that particular conversation painlessly. Well, not entirely painless; Shepard, couldn't quite manage to drown out all of Sarah's words.

"Okay," she rasps, "apology accepted, so long as we never under any circumstances discuss this ever again"

Sarah agrees whole-heartedly.

"And maybe you should warn me ahead of time. Or at least, I don't know, put a sock on the door handle"

Sarah nods in vigorous agreement.

Shepard exhales in relief, thrumming her fingers on the table like a drum. Finally: "I think I'm going to get a drink. You want a drink?"

The tension is reduced once the two of them are sporting fresh alcoholic beverages and a slight buzz to match.

"So, the reason I came to talk to you…"

"This sounds serious. Hold on, let me prepare myself," Shepard gets up and sits down again in a different position, she looks at once attentive and cautious. "Sorry, it's just a pattern I have with you. Drama, then awkwardness. I'm...bracing myself"

Sarah shakes her head, tired at the herculean efforts fate has made to make her predictable. "I was wondering if you could give me your blessing…for me to, uh," she searches for a suitable Asari analogue for 'marry.' 'Bond,' seems a bit on the nose. "Deepen my relationship with your daughter"

Shepard looks horrified, "What…what are we talking about here, Sarah?"

Sarah slaps herself on the head, "No, nothing weird! Jeez!" and downs her entire drink. Putting the glass down decisively against the table, she slams a fist on the table and yells, "I want to marry your daughter!"

Shepard looks at her. Really looks at her. Then she looks at her drink and downs the whole thing as well. "Oh…that's…" The rest of the restaurant politely decides to pretend like they didn't hear, but they are all eavesdropping quite intently. "…Are you asking for my blessing Sarah?"

"Er, I think so"

Shepard looks pensive. Then troubled. She tilts her head in consideration. Finally smiles laughs and smiles at Sarah, "That's actually pretty sweet. Yes, of course you have my blessing"

"Oh thank god," Sarah's chest feels much lighter, "that's a relief"

Shepard laughs, "You didn't have to be so worried. I _do _like you, you know." She motions for another round of drinks, "This is actually cause for celebration. My daughter's getting married! To a model! That's the best kind of trophy wife"

"Other than the savior of the galaxy," Sarah jokes.

Shepard rolls her eyes, "You have no idea. You should have seen Liara at her class reunion. I swear you have not seen smug until you see Liara grabbing my ass in front of a bunch of catty archaeologists." Both of them laugh and the waiter brings them drinks.

"To you and Benny," Shepard toasts.

Sarah raises her glass, "To me and Benny." Taking a drink she speaks up again, "I don't even know if she'll say yes though"

"She'll say yes. Benny loves you like crazy. And again, you're a model, so...don't even worry. You got this." Shepard takes another drink, "You know it's actually a good thing you told me this now. I can tell you how to properly propose to an Asari"

"Oh thank god. I've been stressing about it"

"Yeah, I was too. But the secret," Shepard gazes pensively into her glass, then back up at Sarah, "is that there is no secret. Just do it however you want to. Oh don't look so disappointed. That's really the way to go about it"

"I guess…"

"Hey, just be thankful you didn't have to go through what I went through"

* * *

**A very significant while ago**

"This doesn't feel right"

"You wanted my advice on how to propose," drawls Aethyta, "this is my advice"

Shepard fruitlessly tugs the much-too-short dress down, "Still, this seems a bit…slutty for a bonding ritual"

"Hey, I went the nontraditional route when I proposed to Nezzy way back when, and it almost didn't fly. Who knows? Maybe if I had grown a quad, gone the traditional route, and put on the ceremonial bonding dress, maybe things wouldn't have been so rocky. She wouldn't have left me, wouldn't have tried to help Saren, and maybe we would be living in a much different galaxy than we are now"

"Yeah, we would all be dead. Or part of a new Reaper. Worst-case scenario I wouldn't have met Liara"

"Details," dismisses Aethyta, "look. Trust me. This is going to work okay? Liara's all into this traditional stuff, she'll love that you're making an effort"

Shepard raises a skeptical eyebrow at her girlfriend's father. "Are the beads really necessary?"

"They are _more_ than necessary. Those beads have deep spiritual meaning"

"And the Handcuffs?"

"You've seen Vaenia right? The handcuffs are important"

"Okay, now this," Shepard holds up the unusual-looking tiara, "why do I even have to wear this?"

Aethyta sighs, "That's the most traditional part. Why do you think Justicars wear those?"

"You're fucking with me right? Just say it. I won't even be mad. There's no way you can't be fucking with me right now"

"Look at my face. Is this the face of someone who's kidding around? I might not have been there for the first century of her life, but I know my daughter. Trust me, she's going to love this"

And she did love it. Thus was born Liara's fetish for dressing up in the bedroom. When Aethyta gets a thank-you note from Liara several days later, and a hatemail from Shepard, she bursts out laughing, alarming everyone in the bar.

* * *

**Present**

Sarah is earnestly trying not to laugh. "So every time she makes you dress up it's kind of like she's commemorating your proposal. That's kind of sweet actually"

The two of them are back at Sarah and Benny's apartment. It took the whole drive back for Shepard to tell that story, hesitant pausing and all. They are now settled in the kitchen (not the living room. Shepard has some bad memories of that place after all) and are good and properly drunk.

"Embarrassing is what it is. She didn't even know I was proposing until the next morning"

Sarah can't stop herself from laughing this time, spitting her drink across the counter-top. The laughing is infectious, and Shepard spits up her drink too.

Benny arrives back home in time to see both humans laughing like maniacs with alcohol dribbling down their chins. When they spot her they start shushing each other. Thankfully Benny doesn't hear any talk of proposals. she just shakes her head. "You two have to not hang out anymore."

Shepard and Sarah attempt a high-five and miss.


	10. Delayed Instant Gratification

Author's note: Thanks to everyone who leaves me reviews. Always appreciated. You guys are such hardcore awesome-sauce that you don't even know. I also appreciate the people who don't leave reviews, because hey, thanks for reading at least. I'll get out of your way now.

* * *

Most people who know her think that Liara's schedule is a convoluted mess of trickery, deceit, hidden agendas behind even more hidden agendas, galactic market trading, and at the end of the day, family time. For the most part this is all a very accurate guess, if somewhat incomplete. Liara sees it in much simpler terms. There's work, fooling around at work, more work, more fooling around at work, _and then_ there is finally family time.

Liara is able to cram so many activities under the moniker of "work" because she has the Shadow Broker network to assist her, and though it demands a lot of her attention, sometimes, as with all forms of work, it can get pretty tedious. And with so many programs and algorithms focused on doing the work she can't attend to 24 hours a day, this is no surprise.

This is why, in the margins of her work hours, Liara sees no problem with checking out her favorite sites on the extranet, watching vids on Illiumflix, visiting _Code _forums, and writing the occasional work of fiction when the mood strikes her. All in all, Liara T'Soni is an extremely accomplished woman with more money than she will ever need, and no revenge vendettas or pressing galaxy-threatening invasions that demand her total attention. This is Liara T'Soni, taking life one day at a time, resting on her laurels.

And today just happens to be a special day, though for reasons not yet applicable. _Not yet, anyway_, thinks Liara as she checks the time in one of the many holoscreens in her office. They orbit around her desk like so many luminous fish, ready to be enlarged at a moment's notice.

At the moment, she is watching the live footage of a Turian politician with his wife. Unbeknownst to her, he has hidden in the closet his Hanar mistress, whose bioluminescence is showing under the crack of the door. He is doing everything in his power to keep his wife's head turned away. Up until the wife had walked in, Liara had recorded more than enough sordid blackmail to keep the politician firmly in her pocket. And it is with satisfied tapping of a few buttons (and a wish to un-see everything that had transpired in that bedroom) that she shuts off the feed and secures it in her blackmail folder.

(Really, she thought, what does anyone see in the Hanar anyway? Because while many Asari go through what her father jokingly calls "the Hanar phase" of their love lives, Liara is not one of them. Perhaps she will ask her half-Hanar half-sister about it sometime.)

Next up is the bi-annual bribing she had to make to ensure that several Salarian officials facilitate the upcoming trade talks between the Salarian and Krogan governments. With a few personal commands sent to her agents (and a few automated ones, because really, who has the time?), she then sends off a message to Wrex to make sure he's doing the same on his end. A few minutes later she gets a personalized recording from Wrex saying that, yes, he was on it, and will you please stop nagging me woman because I have a million things to do today and if you keep sending me these reminders I will die of an aneurism.

Seeing as how he's online she keeps messaging him anyway, and they have a nice discussion (albeit slightly frustrated on his end) about how their respective families are doing, how work is going, how they wish they could just solve a problem by having it shot every now and then (which, ironically, Liara does more often than Wrex) and why haven't the T'Sonis visited Tuchanka in so long? Rolling her eyes, she replies "soon" and ends the conversation before Wrex can turn the nagging tables on her.

She checks the time. Still plenty of time left.

She consults with Glyph (who was already advanced, but in the past couple of decades has been so thoroughly upgraded by Quarian and Geth engineers that it only just barely qualifies as not an AI) to see if there is anything that requires her attention. There are a few things, as it turns out, but those things are boring and she decides to take care of them later.

Stretching back in her chair, she decides that maybe she should check on Shepard's office. Opening one of the vid-feeds, she sees that Jane is being shot at from the doorway fo her office. Tattoos reveal the attackers to be pro-human extremists. Startled, Liara brings up a flurry of more camera feeds. They reveal that, oh joy, the council chambers are being assaulted again. Alarmed out of her mind (because while she knows that Shepard can handle herself, one does not just turn off their ability to worry) Liara mobilizes a nearby cadre of Shadow Broker agents.

The power appears to be off in the building, so it's a good thing Liara has these bugs installed everywhere. Unable to do anything more, and knowing that running to the chambers herself would limit her effectiveness in this situation, a frustrated Liara glues her eyes on the screen as she watches her bondmate take cover behind a desk.

Suddenly a grenade is thrown. "Turn around Jane!" Liara yells uselessly, but Shepard sees it and throws it back, buying her enough time to jump out of cover and lunge panther-like to stab the surviving shooters with her omni-blade. Without missing a beat, her kinetic barriers reactivate as she scoops up a pistol, and she's running down the hall to neutralize any more threats.

The next few minutes are an experience in nail-biting anxiety, as Shepard neutralizes extremist after extremist and Liara coordinates her shadow squad to covertly do the same. By the time most of the enemies are down and C-Sec has the situation in hand, she has dispersed her troops into the shadows of the Citadel. Shepard herself does probably the most badass thing she can think to do and returns to her office, stepping over the bodies of the people she had stabbed not minutes before, and gets back to work.

Really, that woman is impossible. Liara sniffles in relief and calls her.

"Hey Liara." Shepard's voice is utterly cheerful, as if Liara has caught her in any old moment at the office.

"You fool! You have a wave barrier over your desk! None of those heroics were required"

Shepard just laughs, and both of them know damn well that given a choice between keeping herself alive by staying behind a shield or charging off into danger, Shepard would charge off into danger every time. "You know you would have done the same thing"

"Hmph"

"When did you get more cameras in here anyway? I swore I got the last one"

Liara ignores the silly question. "Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine. Everyone else is fine too, by the way"

"I can see that. The Salarian councilor got shot in the thigh tough"

"That ought to knock him down a few pegs"

Liara shakes her head. "I'm so happy you're alright"

Shepard just smiles up into the ceiling, unsure of where the bug is but knowing that Liara can see her.

Liara curses, but is just met with more laughing. "Honestly. Do you have much more work to do?"

"You know I don't"

"Then come home, you should make it just in time if you hurry"

"You're not going to tell me what this is about are you?"

"No. Hurry home"

And she hangs up. She checks the time. Just a little left.

Satisfied that Shepard is okay, she decides that she may as well take care of all those mundane, yet important things that Glyph said needed her approval; most of them are peripheral tasks around bargaining colonial rights for the mildly recovering Batarian population in Alliance-affiliated space. It's tricky stuff, like untangling a ball of red tape. Thankfully Glyph manages most of it beautifully, and Liara wonders if maybe it _is_ just an AI at this point. But that's a question for another time. Thanks to her digital assistant, she finishes with the task quicker than she expected.

She drums her fingers against the desk and considers pulling up a video game, but thinks better of it and checks to see if her half-sister is online. When she finds that she isn't, Liara is struck by a sudden whim and searches the extranet for articles on interspecies attraction, with a focus on the Hanar.

It is while she is perusing one particularly fascinating study that Shepard walks in.

"Hey baby"

Liara leans back and cranes her neck to receive a kiss. "Hey yourself"

"What in the world are you reading?"

Liara tries to play off her embarrassment, "Er, nothing much. Broker business"

"Really? 'Turian female lives with two Hanar partners?' _This _is broker business?"

"…Yes"

"Uh-huh," Shepard says, clearly unconvinced.

"Fine. I had a little time to kill, and I was curious, so I thought I might look it up"

"Are you…curious about the Hanar? Or are you _curious _about the Hanar?"

"No! Get your head out of the gutter. I'm curious as to how such an attraction can develop. That's all. The Hanar have such radically different physiologies from the rest of the council races, so…" she trails off, not wanting to have to explain herself further.

"Couldn't you just ask your Dad? Didn't she have a kid with one?"

"Yes, my half-sister. You met her once, actually. And no, I can't ask my father because she would take it completely the wrong way, and she'd be insufferable throughout the entire exchange"

Shepard sighs, leaning over and typing "tentacle porn" into the search engine. The screen fills with a cornucopia of sordid images. "And that," syas Shepard, "is why some people are attracted to the Hanar. Mystery solved. For someone who knows a bit about everything Lira, you are still pretty sheltered"

Liara is aghast, "Oh my"

"Yeah…some of this stuff's pretty out there"

"I did not realize that their image was so sexually portrayed"

"It's worse than the Asari, really"

Liara scrolls down the page, her expression contorting into a grimace, "That's not even how they procreate"

"Well, it's a whole wide universe out there. Sex doesn't make sense anymore"

"Do you think this is why my father…?"

"I don't really want to think about it"

"Ugh. While I disagree with your premise that _this_ is why Hanar are targeted by other species as sexual partners, I agree that my curiosity isn't worth having to further dwell on this perverted extranet drivel." Liara closes the browser, checking the time as she does so. "Jane! It's time!" She pulls up a different live-feed.

Shepard narrows her eyes at it, trying to figure out where it is, before recognition dawns on her. "Christ, you have bugs everywhere don't you? This is so wrong"

"Hush, this is romantic. And really no different from the baby videos we used to record"

"No it isn't. And this is weird"

* * *

**Elsewhere**

If Sarah knew she was being spied on, she would not be as nervous as she currently is. She would be even _more _nervous, because though she isn't afraid of public displays of affection, she is deathly afraid of what Benny will say when she finally pops the question, which will be any minute now.

The venue: their living room. Sarah might like spectacle and fanfare, but Benny does not, and shies away from it when she can, which is fine. Benny's shyness is part of the reason Sarah likes her so much in the first place. And as they sit on their couch, side-by-side, watching Blasto the animated series because apparently there's nothing else on TV (which is ridiculous considering the literally thousands of channels available), and all Sarah can think about is the tiny box in her pocket with the bonding bracelet inside.

"Do you mind if I change the channel?"

"Huh?"

"The channel, can I change it?"

"Oh, uh, yeah. Sure"

Benny flips through some more channels, settling in on the couch by drawing her legs up on it and leaning against Sarah's side, nestling her head in the crook of her neck. Sarah moves on instinct, shifting her body so that Benny can get more comfortable. It isn't until she's done it that she realizes that the box in her pocket is jutting uncomfortably against Benny's back.

"Ow," Benny draws back a bit, "what is that?"

"What's what?"

"That thing in your pocket"

Sarah panics. "I don't know what you're talking about"

Benny quirks an amused eye-ridge, not at all thrown off by the terrible misdirect, "This thing," she pokes it, smiling. "What is it?"

"Oh that." Sarah manages not to stammer, but only just. She is undeniably nervous, and tense, and this is not at all going according to plan, and the only thing she can think to do is swallow and say, "I don't know"

"You don't know"

"That's…maybe?"

"You maybe don't know what this thing in your pocket is?"

"Uh…yes"

"Can I see it?"

Sarah's heart stops, and she notices everything in the room as if in slow motion. Benny, kneeling above her, smiling. The sounds of, oh god, _Outaws of the Code_ playing on the TV. The fact that it is still mid-day and not early evening, like it would be if Sarah planned this better.

"I don't think that's a good idea"

"Why?"

"It just…isn't?"

"You're being very suspicious"

Sarah tries to laugh it off, but fails to sound innocuous, at which point Benny looks into her eyes with such intent that Sarah knows what she's going to do before she does it.

Benny lunges, and Sarah dodges too late, helpless under the attention of the Asari's tickling hands. After she is reduced to a giggling mess, she feels, amid her stupor, the box sliding out of her pocket. Eyes wide, she sits up to see Benny holding the box in front of her, all mirth drained from her features and replaced with wide-eyed bewilderment.

Benny, recognizing the box (a staple in the rom-coms she enjoys), looks at a sheepish Sarah and back to the box before, slowly, steadily, opening it. Inside is an intricately-designed bonding bracelet, simple and undeniably elegant.

"I wasn't sure if this was the sort of thing you wanted," Sarah is wringing her hands and avoiding Benny's gaze, "being Asari and all. So I just figured I'd…go for it? I don't know. I feel a little silly now"

Benny still doesn't say anything, and taking this as a cue, Sarah shuffles to remove the bracelet from the box, taking Benny's wrist in her hands, and gently affixing the bracelet to its circumference. It is a perfect fit.

"Oh, perfect fit," Sarah stammers, trying to laugh off her anxiety.

Benny just stares at her wrist in wonder, turning it over to see every facet of the intricate design, all the while leaving Sarah hanging for several agonizing minutes.

Eventually Benny finds her voice, and it comes out as an emotional murmur. "Sarah do you know what this means?"

"Uh…I thought I did, but if you ask me like that, now I'm not sure. Um…is it a promise that I will love you for as long as I live, and that I believe that your soul is an inextricably intertwined with mine?"

"Yes"

"Then, uh…yes"

And because nobody really expects their human girlfriend to whip out an extremely meaningful incarnation of Asari-expressed love in the middle of watching brainless citadel TV, Benny is suddenly overwhelmed by the sudden gravity of the moment, and a single tear trickles down her cheek, just like in the movies.

And then her eyes intensify. She grips Sarah's shoulders and pulls her in for a rough kiss, throwing down her girlfriend, now bond-mate, on the couch and announcing with a severe (yet strangely loving) voice that "this is happening," before proceeding to yank off Sarah's shirt, every instinct and muscle intent on giving Sarah the most pleasure she has ever experienced.

Because just like Sarah, Benny has been considering proposing one way or another for some time, and the fact that she doesn't have a bonding bracelet to present right back means multiple orgasms will just have to do. Benny initiates the meld immediately, wanting the both of them to feel every facet of how perfect this moment is.

Unsure if this is Benny's way of saying "yes" (and it is), or some bizarre Asari follow-up to the presenting of the bonding bracelet, Sarah struggles to respond before surrendering to sense and shuddering into the embrace of her eager and extremely frisky lover.

* * *

**Elsewhere**

Shepard and Liara both cram their palms on the exit icon of the live-feed window, banishing it into nothingness before they can see anything they'll regret seeing. Both parents, while caught up in the emotion of the moment, are understandably taken aback by their daughter's aggressive acceptance of Sarah's proposal.

"Well"

"Yeah"

"That was…interesting"

Shepard just grunts.

"Sarah did a better job at proposing than you did at least"

In her outrage, Shepard forgets that she almost saw her daughter have sex again. "Hey! Don't pretend you didn't thoroughly enjoy that night"

Liara laughs, kissing the back of Shepard's hand, the shock of the recent past melting away. "It was perfect in its own way, dear"

"I should hope so! I don't degrade myself for just anyone you know"

The two of them kiss tenderly, though as it drags on their lips start pressing with mounting urgency, and someone's tongue slips sensuously into the other's mouth.

"I remember," Liara says in between kisses, "that you were waiting for me, practically naked except for that outfit. I took you then and there remember?"

"Liara," Shepard says, level-headed, drawing away before Liara can get herself worked up any more (either by kissing or her own recollection). "Considering what we just saw, I don't think I want to do this right now"

"What? Are you s- Fine. Dammit. Okay." Shepard laughs at Liara's frustration, as the Asari pushes her away. "I have to send the first fifteen minutes of this video to Sandra anyway. She's the one who told me when this would happen." Liara fixes Shepard with a dark look as the human moves to leave the room, "But this isn't over Jane. You'd better prepare yourself"

"Ooh. How much time do I have?"

"If you don't stop shamelessly wiggling your ass like that, only a couple of seconds"

Shepard shakes her head, because she was doing no such thing. Liara just gets pretty intense when she's aroused. "I should go," Shepard says.

Gratification is sweeter when it's delayed anyway.

* * *

Author's note: Will edit more thoroughly later, if I must.


	11. Disorganized Flashbacks

**Author's Note: Sorry to everyone who wanted smut. There is no smut here. Just some feels.**

* * *

**A Significant While Ago**

Jack's childhood was so horrific that the only notions of a normal childhood that she has are exaggerated snippets of idyllic life; the stuff of dreams and rainbows, picket fences and Christmas mornings spent scrambling down the stairs. These ideas, she knows better than most, are illusions, drivel to compound some semblance of innocence in today's youth. But since becoming a teacher at Grissom Academy, and occasional babysitter during her vacations, it is drivel she finds herself less willing to tear into day after day.

A case and point: story time with Beneziah T'Soni, Asari child to one of her best friends and certified best little buddy to ever exist. The toddler wears a silly frilly dress while Jack reads to her with her usual gusto of voices, telling stories about magical kingdoms with princes, princesses, dwarves, elves, and most importantly, dragons. They are sitting on a park bench, relaxed in the middle of a sunny Presidium "afternoon," and while Jack is happy to read the story (so long as no-one else she knows can hear her), she wonders if maybe Benny wouldn't be happier playing with some of the kids her own age.

After finishing the ludicrously sugary book for the umpteenth time with a weary "and they all lived happily ever after," Jack notices that Benny is unusually quiet, not the usual bundle of energy she is whenever Jack is around. She isn't even bouncing painfully on Jack's thighs and demanding a re-read. Her arms and legs are firmly wrapped around Jack's torso, as if hugging a security blanket.

"You wanna go play with the other kids Benny?"

Benny shakes her head, her face buried into Jack's chest, creating a tickling sensation through the fibers of her T-shirt.

"Hey, you alright kiddo?"

A nod of the head. Jack smiles at the sudden silent behavior.

"You sure?"

Benny doesn't respond. _Aw_, Jack realizes, _she's shy_.

Jack eases the child away from her so she can look her in the eye. "You shouldn't be shy kid. If you don't want to play with the other kids, that's cool, screw 'em," Jack winces at the lapse in curse-withholding, "but you shouldn't stop yourself because you're scared"

"But…"

"Try being a little brave. You might be surprised"

"Were you brave when you were a kid, Jack?"

Jack tenses, hoping that Benny doesn't notice. "Uh…things were different for me"

"Why?"

Fuck! The endless loop of whys! "Well, I…I guess I was shy too, but I had people who…made me play, even if I didn't want to"

"Why?"

Jack sighs, "Because I didn't get to have a normal childhood. Not like you. You're lucky," she checks her surrounding before planting a kiss on Benny's forehead as the girl giggles and unsuccessfully tries to squirm her face away.

"Did you want one?"

"Did I want what?"

"A normal childhood?"

"Er…yeah I guess. A normal childhood would have been…it would have been real nice." Jack shakes her head. "Don't tell anyone I told you that okay?"

"Okay, I promise"

"Good girl"

Without warning Benny hops out of Jack's lap and runs over to the sandbox to play with a pair of children already there. _Well look at that, I did something good today_. But now Benny is pointing back over at Jack and the other kids are looking at her. _What the fuck's going on now?_

"What's up kid?" Jack asks when Benny runs up to her.

"Come on!" Benny takes hold of her hand and tugs her to the sandbox. "We're playing magic kingdoms"

"Adventure time!" yells the enthusiastic little Turian boy.

"You can be the princess Jack"

"Wait, what?"

"You're the princess, and I'm the dragon," Benny roars. The other kids get into it, yelling out all of the things they get to be. _Justicar, Spectre, C-Sec officer, Kalros_ and _bear_ are only a few of them. Jack suspects that they don't quite grasp the point Benny is getting at.

"I think I'm a little old for this game Benny"

"No you're not!" Benny slaps Jack's forehead while wheedling a silly sound-effect. "There! You're a kid again! But you're also a princess, so just sit there while I rescue you from Kalros and the C-Sec officer." And the kids get into an elaborate invisible-gun battle.

Stunned, Jack doesn't say anything, watching silently as the kids enfold her in their game of magical kingdoms, princes, princesses, dwarves, elves, and most importantly…Thresher maws?

"Come on Jack! You're not playing!"

Perking up, Jack stammers before getting into character and swoons, "Uh, save me, oh…dragon?" Benny nods encouragingly, "Yeah. Okay yeah, save me Ms. Dragon!"

She wants to break out in smiles and cry, but not wanting to alarm the kids, she just keeps playing, and for a moment she doesn't give a shit who's watching her.

* * *

**A comparatively little while later**

"Mom…"

"Just a little while longer Benny"

Benny sighs. Why do her parents get like this when the other is out of town? Benny is sitting cross-legged in a sunbeam, intently reading a print copy of an old Thessian manuscript. Liara is sitting behind her, arms encircling her daughter's waist, legs managed to the side so that she's effectively leaning on her. He cheek is pressed to Benny's shoulder.

_This is getting more and more awkward to manage as I get older. _

"Aren't you uncomfortable?"

"I guess," Liara sighs.

"She comes back in three days Mom. Stop sulking"

"I miss her," Liara whines.

"I know. I do too. Though I would be lying if I said it wasn't entirely because it'll get you to lay off the hugs"

"You don't like my hugs?"

"I do Mom. But in the last couple days you've been really clingy. Like a lot"

"I miss your father"

"Mom…"

* * *

**A significant while later**

Going on a date with Asari is something Sarah figures she should have given an extranet search before actually going on one. As it is, she is currently sitting in a restaurant trying desperately to carry a conversation that is breaking down at the seams, not that the date had the smoothest beginning. She had arrived in a taxi and immediately realized that she had probably lost points for not having a car to drive them home in. In addition, she was decked out in her best dress and make-up, though this only served to make her feel awkward and embarrassed when she saw that Benny was in civvies.

The conversation is lagging, not for lack of effort on Benny's part: they just don't seem to have very much in common. This is a position Sarah is generally unused to being in, her experience with boys usually meaning that she was on the other side of the table, and if the conversation lagged then she could pretend that it was because he was boring.

Oh god, does Benny think she's boring? Fuck!

"So what are you studying?" She asks, voice rising a bit.

"You mean what's my major?"

"Yeah"

"I'm studying bio cross-synthetics, basically the reverse-engineering of Reaper tech"

"Holy shit that's impressive. Is that what you plan to do in the future, when you're out of college?"

"Yeah, I want to help reverse the husking process. Anything I can do to help you know? What do you plan to do?"

"Er…Well, I'm actually trying to be a model." _Great, she's going to think I'm a bimbo._

"Oh, that sounds interesting." Before it is comfortably feasible for either of them to continue that particular conversational avenue, the silence stretches for just a tad too long.

"So uh, what do your parents do?" Maybe it's a lame question for a date, but dammit Sarah can't think of anything else to say.

"Oh…um, I'd rather not talk about it actually"

_Well! That's one conversation shut down_. "That's cool." Somehow she manages to say it like a question.

"Sorry"

"No worries! It makes you mysterious, and cool I guess? I was raised by my Mom so…there's that. Nothing very mysterious, so I guess that means I'm not as cool as you." _What am I saying? What am I even talking about!?_

They get through dinner by teetering on a tightrope of awkward Q&A, somehow managing not to fall in the elongated silence of disaster. Throughout the exchange Sarah keeps wanting to return to the inquisitorial drawing-board, back to when she could ask pretty much anything without worrying about breaking up the tenuous flow. _So Benny, what sort of things are you into?_ God, how she wishes she has the guts to try that question now.

Unconsciously they manage to eat everything much too quickly, and much to Sarah's chagrin Benny manages to slip her credit chit into the waiter's hand, and before Sarah can react he's already gone. Sarah feels a sinking in her gut with each muted clack of his wingtips against the carpet of the restaurant.

_I asked her out on a date…and she paid._ Was Sarah supposed to react faster? Are ninja-like reflexes required in Asari dating etiquette?

As they get up, both of them realize that the date is pretty much over. Neither of them quite wants to leave it at that, if only to prove to themselves that they aren't _complete _socially incompetents. Benny asks Sarah, without knowing quite why," if maybe you wants to come back to my place? Maybe?" She realizes too late that this sounds like a proposition, and hastily clarifies, "Only to hang out! Not to…uh, do…stuff," effectively hitting the final nail in the awkwardness coffin.

Sarah, undeterred, latches on the invitation and doesn't let go. _Fuck it_, she thinks to herself, as their car pulls into the T'Soni garage. "What sort of things are you into?"

"Uh," Benny begins, trying to come up with an answer more interesting than _video games_, "this and that"

"That's pretty obscure. Is this another off-limits subject?"

"No, well," Benny opens the door and takes a cautious look around before switching on the lights, revealing a spacious interior, "I just don't think my interests are very…interesting." And before Sarah can get a good look at anything she's whisked away to Benny's bedroom which, Sarah supposes, could double as a very cutely decorated library. Someone's parents are loaded indeed.

"Aw, come on. Tell me," Sarah smiles, attempting to lighten the mood.

"Fine," Benny gestures to her various posters that exhibit highly characters in dramatic poses. "I like video games"

"Ah." Sarah doesn't play video games at all, and awkwardly approaches Benny's impressive gaming corner; a large screen surrounded by contollers of various shapes and sizes. Many of them look like old-school machines that barely manage to not be analogue, at least by today's standards. "That's super cool. What kinds of games do you play?"

An awkward question, not easily answered without sounding like a giant nerd. "Uh, RPGs and adventure, I guess. So long as it tells a good story"

"Do you think I could try one?"

What a silly question. One cannot simply jump into a video game uninitiated, and Benny doesn't have any games for beginners. Letting Sarah play one of her games would only frustrate the both of them; Sarah because the controls are hard to grasp, and Benny because watching someone struggle with controls she has long-since mastered is very irritating.

"Maybe that isn't such a good idea"

"O-oh."

Silence. Sarah pauses in the middle of reaching for a controller and in so pausing feels a surge of overwhelming embarrassment, like an overenthusiastic rookie reaching for a gun she is in no way prepared for; a reality slap she didn't know hit her an hour ago. She feels like an idiot, "I'm really blowing this aren't I?"

"Huh?"

"You probably think I'm boring. And that I'm stupid and clueless for trying to be a model while you're doing something really meaningful and science-y. Ugh, and I just used the word science-y"

"Sarah…"

"And I can't carry a conversation worth shit and this is probably a pity date isn't it? You're just too polite to tell me that I have no chance huh?"

"Sarah…"

"Oh god. I'm about to ask you to drive me home. I didn't even think about bringing my own car and _I'm _the one who asked you out, and I've got this stupid dress on"

"Sarah, I wouldn't agree to go on a date with you if I wasn't attracted to you"

"I'm being so uncool right now. I swear I'm usually cooler than this"

Benny settles next to Sarah on the floor. "You're kind of emotional aren't you?"

"Not really. It's just…you"

"Me?"

"You make me so nervous I can't think straight. I…really like you"

Benny smiles disbelievingly, "You barely know me"

Sarah laughs, "Yeah, that's true. I want to get to know you better though"

Benny sighs, her own nervousness quelling almost completely, "I'm sorry. I don't talk to many people so…I guess I was a little stale as a conversationalist." She tentatively puts her hand on Sarah's. "But I think I like you too"

"You have to be kidding. You mean I didn't mess this up?"

"No. I think we both did, and we should try it again. Maybe we'll do better next time. Besides," she smiles at Sarah's sudden turnaround from devastation, "you're cute when you're panicking"

* * *

**A lot later**

"Benny I'm home- oh. Hey Jane"

"Hi Sarah," Shepard whines

"What's uh…what's going on here?"

Benny looks up from her awkward place on her father's lap where she is trying her damndest to get a report done. Shepard's cheek is pressed to her daughter's back, arms tight around her waist and expression noticeably distressed. Benny's eyes are distinctly annoyed as she looks up at her bondmate.

"My Mom's going to be out of town for a couple of days"

"So your Dad is here?"

"It's…a pattern. Stick with me a few more years, you'll get used to it"

"I miss Liaraaaaa~"

"Is this going to be us in a few years?"

"God I hope not"

Shepard looks up with narrowed eyes, and sticks her tongue out at both of them.


	12. Actual Flashbacks and Accurate Statues

The flashbacks came much later than they should have; a delayed response; faded memories fighting tooth and nail to be remembered. Several decades on and Shepard is still fighting the war.

The first time it happens, she dreams of Mordin in disjointed images. He's smiling back at her, wreathed in the light of exploding circuitry. The Salarian's final moments, and he's smiling, content, almost saint-like. Shepard remembers wondering if she was looking at absolution.

And then boom.

She doesn't wake up in a cold sweat, doesn't surge up into an agitated sitting position, screaming or yelling or any such nonsense. Her eyes just open, the memory of the dream clear in her head. Disquieting. She stirs, climbing out of the covers and sitting on the edge of the bed. She smiles, a tear streaking down her face, followed by a few more.

She hasn't thought of Mordin for a very long time. Such a bittersweet memory.

Liara wakes up. Of course Liara wakes up. Liara wouldn't be able to resist waking up at the sound of a pin hitting the floor, much less the sound of Shepard disturbing the covers.

Their eyes meet, and really nothing needs to be said, because a teary-eyed Shepard is a Shepard that requires hugging post-haste. Never mind what the crying is strictly _about_. The middle of the night is not the time for long emotional talks, and the morning will arrive in good time.

Liara pulls Shepard back into bed, soothingly whispering sweet nothings of consolation into a crown of messy red hair. She is startled when strong arms snake around her waist and pull her close.

"Oh!"

She looks down at Shepard's face, unashamedly pressed into the dip between bare breasts, though there is nothing sexual about it. Shepard hasn't cried for a long time, but that doesn't mean she never does it. In this perfect life, in another time, her tears almost feel like all that she has left of the fallen.

_Hope you're enjoying your seashells buddy._

Not every flashback comes to her in dreams. Life isn't that fair. But it is a mercy to find out that, amid a hail of blood and gunfire, of distorted screams and the roar of the synthetic dead, that the horror of the war is just a memory, and not going on _right fucking now_.

Shepard stares wide-eyed into her desk, pupils dilated; a slight tremor in the hand that has reached for a rifle and finds nothing. The Asari diplomat across the desk is unsettled, calling her name, "Shepard? Chancellor?" But Shepard doesn't hear her, lost in the bowels of the temple on Lessus. She hears a banshee in the distance, readies herself for battle, but finds a worried pair of eyes when she looks up.

"Falere?" She asks.

The woman across the desk tenses. She's seen that look before, in her sister, in her father, her bondmate; the war lingers in all soldiers. She places a comforting hand on Shepard's own, and in an instant the human regains herself. Falere, she realizes, isn't about to die, but back on Lessus, looking after the monastery, and Shepard herself isn't about to engage a Banshee, but is staring into the eyes of a frightened diplomat.

Shepard hurriedly glosses over the entire incident, getting on with business, business, business. For now, she can always bury the past in business.

She goes home early, and feels weak for immediately seeking Liara, searching room after room like a child lost in a department store. Finally she finds her, and wastes no time in securing herself in Liara's embrace. She feels weak, yes, but not ashamed. Not with Liara; her rock, her world (not her entire world mind you, but a significant chunk of it). And for another night she doesn't cry.

This is how the dependence grows.

Shepard learns to handle the flashbacks herself, not to be so dependent, so _weak_. But anxiety eats at her when Liara is away; an anxiety nowhere near crippling, but certainly not comfortable. For a time, Benny is a suitable comfort, a confused teddy bear resigned to her fate as the comfort pillow. But Benny has moved out of the house. And tonight Shepard wakes, alone, in her giant apartment, anguish broiling in her chest; the image of Anderson slumped against the platform of the Crucible fresh in her memory.

It is anguish, but a happy sort. He died knowing he had won, and that made it a worthy death, as perhaps one of her Krogan friends might tell her.

Restless, Shepard gets out of bed. There's no way she's getting any sleep now. She decides to skip work tomorrow. It's not like anybody can fire her anyway. She laughs at anyone's attempt to oust her from her place of power. "The Shepmeister is motherfucking untouchable," She mutters in childish self-amusement.

Suddenly she feels so _lonely_. She aches to hold Liara in her arms. Ugh, another anxiety attack. Just breathe. Don't think of the dream. Breathe. Don't think of-

_You did good, child_. _You did good. I'm proud of you._

Dammit.

Hot tears threaten at the edge of her eyes and she punches a wall.

"Fuck it," she fiddles with her omni-tool, bringing up a call screen. WILLIAMS, ASHLEY. CALLING…CALLING…NO RESPONSE

Maybe she's busy. She decides not to call anyone off-station. She can never get time differences right anyway.

An idea hits her, and she can't believe she didn't think of it before.

CALLING…

"Come on, pick up…"

CALLING…

The screen pops up, revealing a pair of bleary eyes, "Shepard? Jeez, do you know what time it is?"

"Hey," Shepard smiles apologetically, "I couldn't sleep. You wanna go get something to eat?"

The eyes stare blankly back at her, only marginally more awake. "Are you okay?"

"Er…" Shepard considers lying, but knows it would be pointless. Besides, she owes this person more than dishonesty. "I had a flashback"

The eyes sharpen into full awareness. A sigh sounds through the speaker. "The Millennia Blue Lounge. Meet me there in thirty-five minutes"

"That's oddly specific. Where is this place?"

"I'll send you the directions." Agitation. The line is immediately dropped.

"Huh," says Shepard, still looking at the space the screen was just in. A beep sounds from her omni-tool a few seconds later. Shepard presses a few buttons and brings up a map. Sure enough there are directions from her place to the Millennia Blue Lounge.

"Well then"

In no time she's out of the house and speeding down the mostly empty airways of Citadel traffic. People might not be out and about this late, save for the most determined party-goers, but the Citadel is still alive with light, illuminating the surprisingly short distance to her destination.

The Millenia Blue Lounge is less prestigious on the inside than its name might imply. Dim lighting barely staves away the darkness, blue neon adding a touch of class one would be hard-pressed to find anywhere other than a strip joint. There are no strippers here though, which is just as well since Shepard has had trouble looking at strippers since having an Asari daughter.

They are all _somebody's_ daughter after all.

"Shepard!"

The voice is easily distinguishable above the faint music, and the few other customers don't so much as glance away from their own meals. This is a strange place indeed.

"You know," Shepard says, taking a seat opposite her buxom companion, "I've been thinking about getting a pet varren"

Miranda quirks an eyebrow. Since the war she's taken to wearing things other than her signature cat-suit, though her new, more layered, attire is no less provocative. The fashion contrast between her and Shepard is palpable; Miranda's classy tight turtle-neck and skirt ensemble versus Shepard's tried-and-true hoodie and combat fatigues combination.

"I don't think Liara would like that"

"Well, the house is empty all the time these days. I get lonely"

"You're such an empty nester," Miranda teases, "What happened to your attempts to have another baby?"

Shepard shifts in her seat, "We're trying, but contrary to popular belief DNA-mapping isn't easier than human reproduction"

"I know that," Miranda yawns, "multiple PHDs remember?"

"Right. I forgot. Because you _never_ talk about your multiple friggin' PHDs"

"Oh hush up." A Batarian waiter comes up and sets on the table a pair of art-décor mugs that stylistically mirror Asari architecture. Apparently Miranda ordered for them before she arrived. The dark-haired human thanks him and takes a sip of her drink.

"Food's coming up," he mutters, albeit respectfully, before walking away.

Shepard suspiciously eyes his retreating form. "This place is weird. How did you find it?" she sips from her mug, "drink's good though"

"Tell me about your flashback"

Shepard groans, "I was emotional earlier. Really we don't have to talk about-"

"Shepard," Miranda interrupts reproachfully, 'When we first met you were the most incessant busybody ever. Honestly was there anyone on that ship whose life-story you didn't make it a point to learn?"

"Uh…"

"I didn't think so. So come on. Talk to me. Tell me all about your wartime angst," Miranda's eyes soften, "We're friends aren't we?"

"Guh! Yes, we're friends. Stop making teary eyes at me. Put those away," she clears her throat, composes herself. Hesitates, ruffles her hair. "It's…I had a dream about Anderson. You know...when he…he died," she finishes the sentence with a whisper.

Miranda leans in, because even among her friends Shepard had been pretty cagey about what exactly went on in the crucible at the apex of the war. "And?"

"And…that's it. It was after the Illusive man shot himself. We were sitting on the floor, looking out into the battle going on above Earth," Shepard shivers, "I dreamed it in such clarity. It was like I was physically back there." Shepard's eyes glaze over, and even though she's staring at the table she's looking light-years away. "I was so tired, and so was he…but we were looking out into space and it was so beautiful, even with the battle going on, because in that moment we knew we had won/ Victory. It was a perfect moment. I felt myself relax more than I had in years"

She pauses, and Mirada doesn't interrupt the silence. The soft clinking of utensils against porcelain emanates in the background.

"He told me that I did good. And then he died. Just like that"

Miranda waits for a while before answering. "Thank you for telling me that," Miranda says, wishing that Shepard would go on but knowing better than to push. Reporters had pushed Shepard in the past on the subject of what happened on the crucible, and it never went well for them. Besides, a friend wouldn't push when Shepard is this vulnerable.

"You know," Shepard sniffs, wiping away an errant tear and trying not to make the motion too obvious, "I actually feel better. Thanks for listening"

Miranda smiles, "Anytime Shepard." The waiter brings them their food: an assortment of appetizer platters that Miranda knows Shepard is partial to. "You know, I used to get flashbacks too"

"Oh? You never told me," Shepard looks a little saddened at that, "It's been a while since we've talked hasn't it? I'm sorry about that. Do you want to talk about your…"

"Oh no. It's been years since my last one. I was going to recommend…therapy-"

"Oh god, please don't come at me with the whole therapy spiel"

"It really works Shepard. I can recommend a good psychiatrist if you want"

A sigh, "You're pretty serious about this huh?"

"I used to start screaming in public because I thought I saw Cannibals running at me. A biotic of my level…people might have died. Yes, I'm serious about this Shepard"

Shepard recalls her moment at the office, the banshees that weren't really there. "Okay fine. You can refer me if you want"

"Don't need to. Liara already has the name. I just had to convince you"

Shepard laughs, shaking he head. This _is_ the kind of creepily underhanded thing her bondmate would pull. "You scientists and your plotting. Okay, that's enough with the dark topics. Let's talk about something else, hm?" She eats a Chinese dumpling. The flavor pleases her, and she grabs a handful more. "Tell me," she says, grinning through a mouthful of dumpling, "how's Jack been?"

Miranda glares at her, "Don't act as if you don't know"

"What?" Shepard laughs, feigning innocence and doing a bad job at it, "I have no idea what you're talking about"

Miranda glowers, "It's all your fault you know, for making her babysit while Benny was growing up." She slaps Shepard's hand as she's reaching for more dumplings. "You have no idea what it's like to handle an aggressive person passive-aggressively trying to imply that she wants children, and then being aggressively embarrassed when I bring it up"

Shepard laughs out loud, banging her fist on the table and thoroughly disturbing everyone in the establishment. Amid their glares she calms down, muttering something about how she saved the galaxy, so everyone can stuff it. To Miranda, she still smiles.

"So Jack wants kids huh? She wants to be a mommy?"

"Urgh. Yes"

"What do you think?"

"Honestly? I've thought about it before, and it just never seems feasible. I mean, considering my history, I don't think I would be the best parent. I didn't exactly have a good example"

"That just means you'll know what _not _to do. It's simple: don't attempt to create a genetic clone of yourself in the interest of preserving your legacy…and the Australian accent"

Miranda snorts, "Don't make me laugh, this is serious"

"Maybe you _should_ clone yourself. I like the way you say 'laugh'. 'Loff.' Ha! Classic. It'd be a shame if the galaxy lost that"

"For your information the Australian accent is in no danger of disappearing. Because, you know, of everyone in AUSTRALIA." Miranda makes an effort to calm down, dismissing the conversation's brief turn for the silly. "Looking at it objectively it's actually a good thing that she wants this. When you first met her, even after a couple of months of knowing her, did you ever think she would want something like kids?"

"God, no. But after seeing her on Grissom Academy…"

"Exactly. She's grown. She's overcome so much"

"Oh my god, you're proud of her aren't you? That's so sweet"

"Shut up!" Miranda huffs, blushing at her own childishness, "Of course I'm proud of her. I…I love her. To see her having come so far…it makes me want to do anything for her"

"So…"

"So I'm actually considering it alright!?"

"Whoa"

"But there are so many things to consider! Adoption, in vitro fertilization; I've even thought about going the clone route, only you know, with both our genetic information"

"Ooh, I like that idea. Your baby would be such a badass biotic. Have you told Jack any of this?"

"Are you kidding? Of course not. If I tell Jack that means I'm committed to the idea. Can you imagine if I told her and then took it back? It would destroy her"

"So…it's all up to you deciding whether you want this or not?"

"…Basically? Yes"

Shepard leans back in her seat, "Decisions, decisions…" She stretches her arms above her head. "My entire career has been plagued by macro-scale decisions"

"This isn't exactly the same thing"

"No. It's something else entirely." Shepard closes her eyes in relaxation. "You know the day Benny was born was the happiest day of my life?"

"Oh?"

"Yeah. More than the end of the war, more than the first time I truly melded with Liara; Benny's birth meant that after all the shit the universe had thrown at me I could have happiness at the end of it all." She fixes Miranda with a serious expression. "If I know you Miranda, and trust me, I know you; you probably want this just as much as Jack does. You're just so used to denying yourself that you make every grasp at more happiness much more difficult than it needs to be. Remember when we rescued Orana? I had to convince you to even talk to her. And look at you now!" Shepard crosses her fingers, "You're like _that_ Miranda," she waves her crossed fingers in Miranda's face, "like _THAT_"

Miranda glares at her, pushing away the gesticulating hand. "If we weren't friends I would've smacked you by now"

Shepard grins smugly, "Just think about what I said"

A silence passes between them, companionable in the warm atmosphere of friendship permeating the establishment. Shepard's grin is infectious, and despite herself Miranda starts cracking up and swats Shepard on the arm.

"Anyway, change of topic! Have you been to Grunt's new show? There's a sculpture of me omni-blading Saren's head off! The highest bid is 10,000 credits!"

* * *

Sarah gazes up at the towering statue. She'd dressed in a form-fitting black suit that contrasts with her usual attire, but if she does say so herself, she looks spectacular. Benny is hanging off her arm, dressed to the nines in a gorgeous dress befitting the classiness of an art exhibition. Grunt stands next to them, his chest puffed out in pride for his masterpiece. What he's wearing doesn't really matter, though needless to say it is ill-fitting.

"I call it 'The apex of Humanity," he boasts, grandly waving his arms in presentation. Behind them photographers snap photos of the exhibition's centerpiece.

"It's," begins Benny, "interesting"

"Very dramatic," says Sarah, more appreciative. "It's like I'm actually there"

Grunt nods, "Wrex assures me that this is exactly how it happened"

Benny looks at the statue more dubiously, "I like the…emotion on my father's face." Shepard's stone face is frozen in an open-jawed scream of untempered rage. Blood vessels bulge from her forehead as if diseased. "But didn't they not even have omni-blades that long ago?"

Grunt grins, "Maybe. Who cares? It makes for a good sculpture"

"No- I didn't mean- It just seems pretty unrealistic is all." Benny turns to another couple admiring the statue, "Come on, that's not _really_ how it happened right?"

Garrus and Tali look at each other, and then back up at the statue.

"No, that's pretty much how it happened," intones Garrus.

"I remember it like it was yesterday," agrees Tali, all seriousness, "your father hadn't had her coffee that day, you see"

"See Benny?" Says Grunt, resting one of his massive arms on Benny's shoulders, "I have eyewitness testimony to the legitimacy of 'The Apex of Humanity'. This sculpture just doubled in price"

Benny sighs, "Well it _is_ very-well executed. I marvel at your skill, Uncle, though your subject, as always, leaves me disturbed"

"See?" whispers Grunt to Sarah, not particularly caring that Benny can hear him as he is essentially leaning over her. "She _gets_ it"

* * *

**Author's Note: After this chapter I will update less frequently to focus on other projects, including maybe a story based on the Miranda/Jack relationship mentioned in this chapter.**


	13. A Cradle Robber

Author's note: This is about one generation after Rannoch became habitable.

* * *

There were a few guidelines Liara had when dealing with her father. Number one: never get riled up by anything she says. She loves it when that happens. Number two: always remember that no matter what she's talking about, she always means well. Number three: never try to out-inappropriate Aethyta, you will never win.

"Do you remember the rules Benny?"

"Of course, Mother"

"Good. There's another rule I made up just now"

"What's that?"

Liara looks at her daughter. Already a century old but still so innocent, much like Liara was at that age. Like Shepard, there are things she wants to keep from Benny; unfortunate truths about the galaxy that she knows Benny will have trouble coping with. Still, in matters like these it is best to start small, and if Benny is about to have her world rocked, then at least it will be from a predictable source.

"Rule number four: please try to not ask her anything about Dania." Liara rings the doorbell.

"Who's Dania?"

They aren't kept waiting long. The door swishes open to reveal, not Aethyta, but a young, buxom Quarian girl wearing clothes that leave little to the imagination.

Benny's eyes widen comically.

"Hello! You must be Aethyta's family. It's so nice to finally meet you! Come in! Come in!"

Liara smiles pleasantly, nudging her mortified daughter into the apartment. Aethyta's dwelling is not nearly as utilitarian as Benny remembers it being, decorated with furniture that looks like it's come straight from the pages of an interior decoration magazine.

"I'm Dania," says the Quarian, holding out her hand.

"Nice to meet you Dania," says Liara accepting Dania's handshake, "I'm Liara, Aethyta's daughter. And this is my daughter, Beneziah"

"Oh my gosh, you're both so gorgeous! 'Thyta has excellent genes"

"That's so kind," says Liara, smiling warmly, "thank you"

"Anyway I'll go get her. It'll just be a sec"

She bounces up the stairs, hips swaying from side to side like they do in the vids. As soon as she's out of sight Benny whirls on her mother.

"Who the hell was that!?"

Liara sighs, "That would be your grandfather's newest plaything"

"Plaything? Have you seen the furniture? She clearly lives here! She can't be older than thirty"

"You don't know that. She might have had longevity treatments"

"I'm a scientist Mom. There are signs when a person has longevity treatments and she didn't have them. _She's not even half my age_"

"Settle down Benny. It's not that big a deal, really. Besides, Dania is hardly your Grandfather's first live-in companion"

Somewhere in the distance of Benny's mind, something cracks. "Wait, what?"

"Remember that nice young man from around sixty years ago? The Drell"

Benny struggles to remember. "You mean Jonah? I thought he was a housekeeper"

"He was. But let's just say he did things for your Grandfather not covered in his paycheck"

Benny spends a moment to reflect on what exactly that means. By the time she's figured it out (mind reeling in sudden recollection. Jonah's uniform _was_ very revealing), Aethyta appears at the top of the stairs, smiling like a varren in a pyjak pit.

"You're here!" She sounds delighted, forgoing the steps entirely and jumping straight to the floor, cushioning her landing with biotics. She sweeps the both of them in a hug, lifting them off their feet in her deceptively powerful arms.

"The little squirt is getting hitched!" She puts them down, slapping Liara on the back. "Did you ever think this one would find a bondmate so fast? Bam! Right out the gate! Haha! My granddaughter has skills"

"Settle down Father. You're making her uncomfortable"

"Ah, sorry Benny. You know how I get." She looks into Benny's eyes, bringing her in for another, albeit gentler hug. "It's been so long since I've seen you," she says, "what, are you too busy at work to see your Grandpa?"

Mortification momentarily forgotten, Benny returns the hug, closing her eyes in Aethyta's embrace. "Sarah is making me helping me with my overzealous working habits"

"I should hope so. You didn't get any of that from me. That was all Liara"

"Dad!"

Aethyta chuckles. "Just playing. That girl's good for you, bring her around sometime"

"Thanks, Grandpa. I will"

Aethyta releases the hug just in time for Benny to see Dania walking up to them, all smiles. Aethyta casually slings an arm around her shoulders. "You all already met Dania. Though if I know my daughter then she probably already knew about her"

Liara smiles, "She's very charming"

"Isn't she though? And these hips," Aethyta slides her hand along the contours of Dania's hip, "I do love me some Quarian hips." Dania giggles at the attention.

"'Thyta," she playfully admonishes, swatting away the hand, "your family is right there"

"That's alright Dania," assures Liara, "I am well acquainted with my father's proclivities"

"I hope not too well," Dania replies, giving Aethyta a warm smile.

Benny, for her part, silently tries, and doesn't quite succeed, to come to grips with this bizarre new reality.

"Anyway, I thought Dania could come with us today"

Too numb to object, Benny says nothing as the four of them pile into Liara's skycar, making the trip downtown where Benny is set to buy her bonding ceremony garments. After all, Sarah couldn't very well propose to her and there be no ceremony of some sort. The two of them had settled on a variant of the Asari ceremony, and who better to help pick out the accoutrements for such an occasion than two older Asari relatives?

But it feels distinctly weird with the oldest relative's very, very young girlfriend tagging along. Benny couldn't stop surreptitiously glancing at her for the entire ride.

But Dania's presence isn't as disconcerting once they get to the store: the Asari equivalent of a bridal shop. They are greeted at the door by an attendant who immediately, and with a smile, asks what kind of service they're planning. Being the culturally diverse species they are, an Asari never assumes that any grand occasion in one Asari's life will be celebrated the same way as it would in another's.

Which is why Asari bonding shops are an experience in cultural variety.

The clothes on display are all wonderfully unique; from dresses, to suits, body-gloves similar to what the priestesses and justicars wear, and draping robes like Krogan female shamans on Tuchanka. Matrimonial battle-armor is displayed prominently in one of the display windows.

"What species will your bondmate be?"

"Human"

"Oh how exciting! I do so love the pageantry of human ceremonies. Man or woman?"

"A woman." The admittance, as well as the thought of Sarah, makes her smile.

"She will be wearing a dress then. Will you want one similar? Or perhaps a tailored suit?"

"Um…"

"We'll have a look at everything you have," says Liara.

Benny regains herself. "Yes, I want something that feels right, not necessarily traditional"

"Lovely," says the attendant, "Right this way"

The four of them are taken to a grand room filled with manikins, all of them in the shape of a svelte Asari assuming a unique pose. Each one is wearing different outfits, clothes with different styles and colors, patterns and textures. An interface at the front allows for easier perusal, though Benny is too entranced by the displays to pay it any mind.

While Aethyta and Liara browse the interface, Benny and Dania walk among the manikins, "ooh"ing and "aah"ing at the sheer variety. Benny stops at one in particular, staring in wonder at a manikin elevated on a pedestal; waves of blue shimmer down the length of its dress in a series of airy veils that move as if underwater.

"I think you would look amazing in that," says Dania, the lilt of her accent reverting Benny's attention.

Benny turns her head, spying the girl shyly step from behind another manikin with her arms placed shyly behind her back. "I'm not so sure," she says, frowning.

Dania pauses, leaning forward and back on her heels. "You…don't like me very much do you?"

That startles Benny. "What?"

Dania's laugh is a beautiful sound, reassuring in a strange way. "Relax. I totally get it. This is a big deal to you and your Grandfather is dragging her inappropriately young girlfriend along. If anything I should be apologizing to you. Keelah! I felt so awkward as soon as she told me what we were doing. I mean a wedding is a highly personal event and-!"

"No! No, Dania. That's…that's not it at all"

"Really? Because you've been looking at me weird this whole time"

"I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. I don't mind that you're here. Not…really. I'm just…"

"What?"

"It's weird"

"Come on, talk to me. I just embarrassed myself so it's only fair"

Benny sighs, "I don't know…it's just…I've always thought of my Grandfather as this inscrutable, sass-talking curmudgeonly old…person. But after seeing you…I've been forced to re-evaluate that image, and it's been strangely hard adjusting, I guess. I mean, suddenly so many of my childhood memories have a radically different context"

_Ramini, the pleasant Asari matron that definitely wasn't just Aethyta's beautician_

_Swanson, the mustachioed carpenter that was working on the living room table for like three months_

_Jonah, the Drell housekeeper that apparently did much more than just keep house_

_Electra…in retrospect Electra was pretty obvious_

Benny shakes her head, snapping out of her reverie at the sound of Dania cracking up.

"Hey! This is serious! I'm adjusting to some pretty alarming truths here"

"Hahaha! I'm...(haha!) I'm Sorry. I'm just so glad that you aren't mad because of me"

Benny crosses her arms, fidgeting awkwardly. All of a sudden she feels like an insufferable prude.

"Look," says Dania, "I don't know about those memories of yours, but you don't have to think differently about your Grandfather at all. She's still all those things you said. It's not like 'Thyta's a dirty old lecher or something. Well," She blushes, "She _is_, but she's also just a person, who wants companionship just as much as the next person"

"That…puts it into perspective actually"

"Don't think of your Grandfather any differently, okay? She's still the same person who cares about you very much. I mean, sure, she does unspeakable things to me behind closed doors, but-"

Benny interrupts Dania by slapping a hand on her mouth. "I think I got it," she laughs, her smile disappearing seconds later. "Please stop talking"

Taken aback at first, the Quarian cheerfully laughs and nods.

"Well, this one looks nice." They turn at Liara's voice, the older Asari walking up to the manikin in the blue dress. "Do you want something like this?"

"Nah," Aethyta appears from nowhere and tugs Benny to the interface. Flicking it on, she flips through a few outfits she and Liara had put together until finally landing on one particular number that immediately catches Benny's attention. It is very black. "This is the one you want," says Aethyta, proudly resting her hand on Benny's shoulder.

Benny stares at the outfit, an excited grin playing on her lips. She grasps Aethyta's hand.

"You know me so well"

And yes, it was weird that Aethyta was shacking up with a young Quarian, but she is still her Grandpa. And finding out that her Grandpa is a normal person with needs like anybody else, doesn't make Benny lover her any less.

* * *

"You handled Dania better than I thought you would"

Benny glances sidelong at her mother. They're speeding down the airway back to the T'Soni household, the ceremony apparel boxed neatly in an onyx-black case in the trunk.

"I'm a century old Mom. I admit it did take me by surprise at first. But like you said, no big deal"

"That's a healthy attitude. I'm proud of you. If you had said anything Aethyta would have had a field day. You know how insufferable she can get"

Benny snorts, "Could you blame her? Dania _does _have a nice body"

"True. Those hips…"

"And the accent…"

"The way she moved too. It was very alluring somehow…"

Jane Shepard, freshly picked up from work and sitting in the back seat, looks up from her magazine, shifting her gaze from her wife to her daughter and back again with a severely weirded out expression.

"You guys know I can hear you, right?"

* * *

Author's note: Herein was my half-assed attempt to explain everyone staying young even a century post ME3. What are longevity treatments exactly? Could they be synthesis science/magic? Some sort of technology unearthed in broken reapers? Or maybe this is just a silly fic and such things don't matter. Incidentally, Dania's full name is Dania Xen Vas Rannoch


	14. Soul-Searching

Shepard reclines on an unusual sofa, relaxed in the soothing environ of the Consort's office. Light streams beautifully from through the glass walls, setting her at ease, though some part of her is still a little discomfited.

"It's been over a century since the war, why are you seeking therapy now?"

"Lately I've been getting these…nightmares. Well, not lately, I've been having them for a while now"

"Flashbacks?"

"Yeah. You know, of the war and stuff"

"For how long?"

"I guess fifty years now? Holy shit. It's hard to believe I'm pushing one-forty-five"

Sha'ira smiles, "Technology is amazing isn't it? Though by Asari standards you're barely an adult"

"Haha, well by human standards I'm downright ancient." She laughs, "But yeah, I'm only getting therapy now because a friend kinda pushed me into it"

"So you're here under duress?"

"Well, no. I'm not _that_ prideful. I guess I just…I don't know. I feel I need this; it just took some persuasion I guess." Shepard shifts in her chair, "Thanks for doing this gratis by the way"

"I'm happy to help. Besides, I always thought you were never completely satisfied with my reward for helping me deal with General Septimus"

"What? You mean the obscure gift of words thing? Hehe, maybe. What would you have done if I said I didn't like it?"

Sha'ira flashes a cryptic smile, turning to her clipboard and rearranging her legs into a professional cross. Her voice shifts to the formal. "Before you tell me about your flashbacks, why don't we go over how you've been in the last couple decades?"

"Way to dodge the question Ms. Consort." Jokes Sheaprd, fidgeting with the hem of her sweater. "I don't know where to start. A _lot_ of stuff has happened actually"

"Just talk about whatever comes to mind"

"Whatever comes to mind? Well, my kid grew up, for one; she's graduated, working. There's even a bonding ceremony on the horizon"

"And how is that relationship?"

"Oh they're seriously in love. It's adorable actually"

"I meant with you and your daughter"

"Oh. We've always been pretty close. Why?"

"Well if she's the first thing that came to mind, maybe there's a reason for that"

"I thought this was about my flashbacks?"

Sha'ira, puts her clipboard to the side, posturing relaxation. "Indulge me"

Shepard raises an eyebrow, but nevertheless leans back in the chair, jumping a bit when the back of automatic recliner inclines for the horizontal by its own volition. Getting over her sprise, she relaxes into it, casting her gaze skyward as a wave of nostalgia washes over.

"Well…what comes to mind…"

* * *

**A Significant While Ago**

It is a dark day. A pile of boxes lies stacked in the entranceway, a dour monument to imminent change in the T'Soni household. Shepard stands before the pile, a shawl wrapped around her shoulders. There's a mug of coffee in her hand, long cold.

She contemplates the boxes, considering their contents, contents that will be shipped out in the morning. Those items have long graced the T'Soni household, and it feels like a part of Shepard's life is being transplanted with their removal.

Shepard doesn't sigh. She feels too tired even for that. Too sad.

The clattering of feet sounds behind her, subdued voices trailing down the stairway. Shepard doesn't turn to address at them, her gaze not even slightly deviating from the boxes. The talking stops when they get near, and the curious sensation of three pairs of eyes trained on her back makes her only a little self-conscious.

Gently, lovingly, someone hugs her from behind.

"Jane," murmurs Liara, "it's time"

Shepard opens her mouth to speak, but all that comes out is a strained breath, noise from a long constricted throat. She takes a moment to catch her voice. "Yeah, okay." The words come out as raspy squeaks, as if it takes considerable energy to say them. She squeezes Liara's hand, receiving a reassuring squeeze back.

She turns, casting her eyes on the couple at the foot of the stairs; her daughter and her human girlfriend, one's arm wrapped around the other's shoulders. Benny looks at her, already so grown up, _when had that happened?_ Shepard wonders. Tears tug at the edge of her daughter's eyes. "Dad…"

Shepard smiles, emotionally covering her mouth. "Oh man," she muffles, "please don't cry. If you cry I'll cry"

"Dad…"

Shepard sniffs again, walking up and smoothing out imaginary creases in Benny's clothes. "Oooohkay," she breathes, "do you have everything for tonight? Change of clothes? Toothbrush? Nasal spray?"

"Yeah, I have everything"

"And Mr. Squiggles?"

"Daaa~aaad," she blushes, casting an embarrassed glance at Sarah, who tries to look surreptitious. She leans in, patting the bulge in her bag where the stuffed toy was squeezed in. "Yes," she whispers, "he's in the duffel bag"

"And the movers will take your stuff over in the morning." Shepard presses her lips tightly together, keeping her emotions from showing any expression. "Well then," moisture gathers on the surface of her eyes, "I guess that's everything then"

"Yeah"

"Okay, wow. This is hard. Uhm, call us…when you get there, so that we know you're safe"

"The new place is only forty minutes away, Dad"

"Well…I just worry okay? *sniff*"

Benny's face contorts in distress. "Don't cry Dad. If you cry I'll cry"

"I'm not crying I'm just…ugh," Shepard pulls her daughter into an abrupt hug, burying her face into Benny's shoulder. Benny readily returns it; gentle, but firm.

Liara shakes her head at the sight, nudging Sarah. "Honestly, she isn't even moving that far away." She turns, only to pull a double take at the sight of tears running down Sarah's cheeks.

"Am I doing a bad thing?"

Liara sighs, slinging a comforting arm over Sarah's shoulders. "Not at all. Those two are just…well, Benny has always been her father's special little girl"

Sarah's face contorts with distress. "I AM doing a bad thing!"

"Oh dear. There, there. Moving in together is a natural step in any couple's relationship. You have nothing to feel guilty about"

Finally Shepard pulls back, eyes unashamedly damp. She presses both palms to Benny's blue cheeks. "Okay," she spouts a self-depreciating chuckle, "better get going now or else we'll be here all day"

Benny takes a deep breath. "I love you Dad"

"I love you too kiddo"

"I'll call you everyday"

Shepard grins, "You don't have to"

"Every week then"

"Okay"

Five minutes later and Shepard is standing outside, waving at an aircar that is too far away to be seen clearly. Liara leans her head on Shepard's shoulder.

"They're gone, Jane"

"I-I know. But can we just stay her for a little while longer…I…"

Liara sighs, smiling at her bondmate's adorable hopelessness. "Yes, of course we can." They remain there for an hour, and when Shepard finally turns to go back into their house, an apartment emptier by one person, Liara bravely holds onto the crushing weight of Shepard's grip.

"It's alright to cry, Jane"

"I'm sorry," Shepard smears a part of her shawl over her eyes. "Can't help it"

Liara just hugs her, a little impatient to get inside, but more than happy to stare after their daughter, finally flying the nest.

* * *

**The Present**

"That must have been hard"

"It _was_ hard, Jesus." Shepard pulls her sleeve over her hand to dab at her eyes, "Why are we talking about this anyway?"

"I like to get to know my clients before I get down to the real problem"

"You know me, what's the problem?"

"Yes, but just barely. We haven't exactly talked a whole lot, much less interacted since the whole Saren debacle." Sha'ira leans forward, steepling her fingers. "You've changed a lot since then. Mellowed." Sha'ira considers, "You still work though"

"Well yeah"

"Is it stressful?"

"My work? I guess. I get angry a lot"

"Don't you ever relax? Take a break?"

Shepard thinks about it. "I enjoy the company of my wife. I hang out with friends, kick back on the couch, maybe watch a little TV"

"Any hobbies? I understand one of your former squad-mates became a sculptor"

"Grunt?" Shepard snorts, "Yeah, pretty wild right?"

"Do you have anything like that? Something to express yourself with?"

"No, not really. Why do you ask?"

Sha'ira sighs. "Jane, I'm going to share my honest opinion with you, is that okay?"

"Shit doc, this isn't exactly a formal consultation"

"Very well." Sha'ira sits up, gathering her notes. If she had glasses she would have adjusted them smartly. "Your job for the last century has been dedicated to the public good, and before that you were a soldier. Do you ever feel that perhaps you should take some time concentrating on yourself for a while?"

"Not…really"

"Perhaps you should. You're a woman who's obviously under a lot of stress. Stress doesn't quite lend itself to recovery does it? If you want to overcome these flashbacks, I suggest you round out the edges in your life. Take a break for once. Stop focusing on the good of the galaxy and start focusing on yourself. It's not like the citadel will blow up the minute you stop looking"

Shepard shoots her a "don't even go there" look.

"Just something to think about. Now, about these flashbacks…"

* * *

**Later, and Elsewhere**

Jane Shepard sits in her house, alone, in the middle of the morning. It is a Tuesday, and she does not have work. She won't have work for a while, having called in more than a few vacation days to allow her an indefinite period of repose and introspection.

Jane Shepard doesn't know how to _do_ repose and introspection. Her life feels inert without anything to do.

So she plays video games for a while; a dusty old antique of a system connected to the central TV. Pouring her time into mindless virtual activity is fine until Liara comes home and informs her that while playing video games is fine, it don't quite qualify as a legitimate soul-searching activity, and that puts a damper on the whole thing for a while.

* * *

The next day Shepard tries her hand at art. If it worked for Grunt then maybe it could work for her too. She spends about thirty minutes in front of a blank sheet of paper, brand new art supplies splayed across the table. Only the package for colored pencils is open, everything else still sealed in the original wrapping.

Art doesn't work out. She spends thirty minutes staring at blank paper, finally trying her hand at drawing random shapes. One thing leads to another and she's drawing a Turian. It is terrible. Shepard yells in frustration. This was supposed to be easy! With some effort she drives her pencil clean through all fifty sheets of the sketchpad.

Liara comes home to the sight of a massacred sketchbook on the dining table, and Shepard in the living room curled up in an angry ball playing video games. Over dinner she tentatively suggests that they buy some rendering software. Shepard stares at her until she decides maybe art isn't for her.

* * *

The next day is boring, and rather than do any actual introspection Shepard procrastinates by cleaning the house while listening to the TV turned on high. Finishing with that surprisingly early, she decides to make dinner for once rather than order out, and looks up a recipe online. It is frustrating work, but she manages to pop a roast in the oven well before Liara is slated to come home. With even more time on her hands Shepard looks up how to make a couple martinis.

So there she is, putting the finishing touches on a coa fruit spritzer when Liara finally comes back home. Happy to see her, Shepard bounces to the foyer with the drink in hand, giving it to Lara while taking her briefcase. "Welcome home darling," she says enthusiastically, planting a kiss on her cheek, "dinner's on the table"

Liara smiles, putting the drink down when Shepard's back is turned. "Really? You cooked?"

"Yeah! C'mon! C'mon"

They settle down to eat, Shepard forgoing her usual place from across the table to sit next to Liara. The Asari cocks an eyebrow at her, but says nothing to express her amusement. As she lifts a forkful of food to her mouth, she pauses to consider Shepard staring at her expectantly. How strange. Smiling, she puts the food in her mouth and chews, nodding. "Mmm, this is really good Jane"

Shepard breathes a sighs of relief, "Really? I'm so glad," realizing in that exact moment that she has become Liara's 1950s housewife.

"Are you okay?" asks Liara, confused at the odd range of emotions playing on her bondmate's face.

"Yeah…yeah, just…feeling kind of funny"

"Well," says Liara, leaning over to plant a kiss on Shepard's temple, "here's hoping you're feeling funny more often." She returns to her food, stirring it with her fork in pensive swirling motions. "Especially…" Shepard shoots her a glance, but she doesn't look up, trying and failing to stifle a growing smile, "because I'll need someone to take care of me for the next few months...I'm pregnant, Jane"

There is a lull in the room.

Shepard whoops in excitement, picking up Liara and spinning her in silly little circles in the kitchen. Liara protests, though can't keep from laughing at Shepard's wild enthusiasm. The world, previously confusing, seems full of color and purpose.

"What am I going to tell Sha'ira?" The two of them have fallen back onto their living room couch, panting with exertion. Both their eyes widen, "Did...we ever tell Benny we were trying again?"

"...Actually...no"

* * *

**Author's Note: Don't actually know much about the psychological treatment of PTSD, so I skipped it.**


	15. Resentment

AN: It has been a while since I updated this story. I lost a lot of steam for it. Maybe I'll keep updating now, or maybe its time to mark it complete already. Some of the stories I come up with for it seem like they could easily stand up on their own. It's something I'll have to think about.

* * *

"Why isn't Mom coming with us tonight?"

"She's…busy"

It's an excuse. About a month ago Liara had let Shepard stay home while she attended a fundraiser. In exchange, Shepard agreed to one day take Liara's place in turn for just such an event. That da is today. Liara has called in the favor to catch the season finale of her favorite TV show. Unwilling to suffer alone, Shepard pestered her daughter to come as well, and Benny, also unwilling to suffer alone, pestered Sarah to do the same.

The three of them piled into Shepard's skycar, dressed to the nines. Sarah was relaxed, having long grown used to going to these things. Benny is used to them too, but she doesn't enjoy them nearly as much. Shepard, as always, is loath to rub shoulders with the Galaxy's elite, but is beholden to her promise.

"You aren't going to be rude are you?" Asks Benny, looking out the window, pointedlynot looking at her father.

"What are you talking about? I'm not rude"

"No, but you will be if s_he's_ there"

This piques Sarah's interest. "Who are you talking about? She is met with silence. The mood in the car takes a dour turn as Shepard stares moodily ahead, gripping the controls a bit too rigidly. Aware that she is walking a minefield, Sarah leans closer to Benny, whispering "What were you talking about?"

"It's complicated. My dad has certain grudges that make parties like this…uncomfortable"

"Uncomfortable how?"

"You'll see"

"Just tell me"

"It's not my place to say"

Shepard can't help a sardonic smile. "I can hear you, you know"

"Then can you tell me what the big deal is?" Asks Sarah, "I'm really curious now"

"It's no big deal"

"It _is_ a big deal," Argues Benny, "you always ruin the night whenever _she _comes around"

"Who are you guys talking about already!?"

Shepard's face is all unwillingness to answer, a rigid smile and an expression betraying her inability to come up with a good lie. "We're here"

So they are. They pull up to the front of an austere-looking building where a line of expensive cars are already arrayed at the front like a procession of ants. From out these cars step the galaxy's rich and famous; celebrities and philanthropists both, with pretty people in glitzy clothes at their arms.

Sarah is the first one out of the car, wearing a billowy tunic/dress hybrid that was in a fashion magazine not two days ago. She was the one who modeled it. She tosses the valet the car's access fob, circling around the car to open the door for Benny. She had convinced the Asari to wear a dress tonight, and is making the most of it, helping her out of the door like a storybook prince, completely unable to hide how giddy she is to show off her bondmate in such a public venue. She does not often get the chance.

Shepard steps out as well, eliciting the usual flurry of photo-flashes. Liara isn't with her, so she isn't bothering to dress too well. A simple suit will suffice for tonight. But even in mundane clothes she attracts attention.

Ignoring the slew of floating cameras, Shepard ushers her family into the benefit hall where all the pretty people are mingling in a tastefully-designed interior, complete with indoor waterfalls and snack-bearing wait staff circulating the crowd. Shepard and Sarah immediately pounce when a waiter passes by holding up a tray of mysterious cheeses. Benny pretends not to know them as they scarf the whole it all down.

Despite Shepard's misgivings it is a fun evening. She bonds with her daughter-in-law by gallivanting from waiter to waiter, eating what they can find. Every now and then Benny makes them stop to talk to such and such a person, and to her surprise she enjoys their company. There is a Krogan from one of the less-fortunate wards who runs an animal shelter for the Citadel's strays. There is a young Asari maiden whose recent inheritance has made her the fourth richest person in the building, and she is looking for a worthy cause to throw money at. There is a Turian designer that Sarah knows who positively gushes over Shepard, eager to make her some outfits so that she can advertise his line ("Oh the human market is _bursting_ right now! _Bursting!_ I could double my sales if you wore just one of my shirts in public!_")_. She surprises herself by telling him she'll think about it.

"Shepard, how do you do?"

There is a heavy pause. Sarah looks at Shepard confusedly, and then at the Asari that has addressed them. Shepard's entire demeanor transforms into something alien and frosty.

Who is this woman? Shepard does not respond to her, does not look at her, and does not even remotely acknowledge her. She just walks past, snubbing her. Sarah and Benny follow lamely. Sarah casts a backwards glance, the Asari is looking at them ruefully.

"You wanted to know who my dad had a grudge against?" Says Benny, "That's her"

The Asari is beautiful. Stunning really. She has these beautiful white face markings that enhance her beauty in all the right ways; there's something primal in the way the speckle her face, made all the more alluring by her overt sophistication. Sarah wonders if it's a full-body thing. She would make a fantastic model.

"Is that-?"

"Yeah, Councilor Tevos"

Indeed, the woman that Shepard has pointedly ignored, the woman who is now holding back despondence behind a rigid smile, is the one of the most powerful Asari in the Galaxy.

* * *

It doesn't take a lot to get on Shepard's shit-list, but it requires tremendous effort to get on her "you're dead to me" list. All three Councilors (some of them former councilors now) are close to the top. Tevos, Sparatus and Valern; Shepard carries on her life quite amicably with the rest of the galaxy, but with those three she is hostility incarnate.

Perhaps it is juvenile of her, this anger. After all, who would believe one person warning of doom and destruction at the hands of sentient death-machines? Who would mobilize the galaxy's military on the word of a single woman? The council was acting on logic and common sense, and no-one can truly fault them for that.

But that decision nearly cost them everything. For that, they are dead to her. Especially Sparatus; he has the cracked mandible to prove it. "Ah yes, Reapers." No forgiveness for those particular air quotes. Her grudge isn't limited to the council either. There is also Admiral Han Gerrel, Gavin Archer, the former Salarian Dalatrass, and the person responsible for creating "Perry the Pyjak" (Benny had liked it so much that, overall, Shepard and Liara had spent much of her infancy watching it).

Just the sight of these people sends Shepard into a quiet rage. It can be quite stressful on both parties, and is part of the reason why Shepard is taking a leave of absence from her political duties; going so far as to consider permanent resignation.

Tevos is the only one that doesn't seem to be getting the message.

She's a persistent woman, always greeting Shepard with a pleasant smile which is always ignored. At social functions Shepard pretends she isn't even there. She has a nasty and embarrassing habit of leaving conversations when Tevos joins them, and Liara usually has to smooth over the ensuing awkwardness. This rejection was made abundantly clear when, during a corporate function thrown in celebration of Shepard's birthday (which, had she known about it, she would have done everything in her power to prevent)Tevos had brought her a present. There was no present-opening during the function itself, but when Shepard saw the councilor's name on the pile she didn't think twice about throwing that specific package in the trash, unopened. Though this was only witnessed by a few, the fact that it happened at all circulated the party like wildfire, ultimately making for an extremely uncomfortable evening for just about everyone. Tevos, ever the diplomat, smiled and pretended that nothing had happened. Shepard just left.

Needless to say, this was startlingly petulant behavior for an otherwise mature woman.

After the function Shepard drives Benny and Sarah home. She hugs them and kisses Benny's temple. Don't stay out too late, Benny says. Shepard smiles at that, her daughter knows her too well. After leaving she drives to a bar in the Presidium. She's too famous to go someplace ordinary, and this particular bar is always respectful of her privacy.

She goes to her usual spot; the stool at the far side of the counter. No-one else is there, leding the place an ethereal quality beside the art-deco theme of virtually everything inside. The bartender nods, sliding her a small glass of something purple that Shepard doesn't know the name of. It always puts her in a thoughtful mood.

It's childish of her to bear a grudge, she knows that, especially against people that are, for all intents and purposes, quite decent. Hell, she's hardly perfect. She's made mistakes herself, lots of them. But old anger doesn't dissipate easily. When Sparatus mocked her warnings, she wanted to crack his skull against the floor. When Gavin Archer offered her his lame apologies she wanted to shoot him in the kneecaps. When Tevos told her that there was a secret on Thesia that could have won them the war, a secret that they had held on to for centuries, Shepard wanted to slap her in the face.

Han Gerrel, she did actually hit, but she wanted to do so much more.

But Shepard doesn't do that. She didn't even punch Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani when she had the chance. Instead she holds onto that anger, bottling it up and holding onto it for years until she can release it in very small increments in petulant shows of passive aggression. And she's been angry for a very long time; such a long time that sometimes she wonders if she isn't just being angry for the sake of being angry.

* * *

Someone slips into the seat next to her, prompting mild annoyance. Shepard looks at the arrival, eyes widening in momentary surprise, before she shakes her head and grins sardonically.

"I'm surprised to see you in a place like this"

Aria, dressed in her signature white jacket, grimaces. She motions for the bartender. "I'll never understand the appeal of places like these. How do they stay open when barely anyone comes?" She takes the small drink menu and flaps it in Shepard's face. "What's up with this? Only five drinks offered on a given day? I don't get it"

"I appreciate the quiet, the simplicity. You can come here and trust that nothing will get in the way of your thinking"

"And that is why we'll never see eye-to-eye"

Shepard remembers Omega. She remembers Nyrene. She suspects that Aria is similarly speculative.

After a long pause Shepard speaks. "You going to tell me why you followed me here?"

"Maybe I just wanted to catch up. It has been a while"

"If that's true I'll buy you a drink. This purple stuff is pretty good"

"That's Armali spiced brandy, and no, I'm not here to do something so inane"

Shepard orders her the drink anyway. "You just took some of the mystery out of it. That was like half the flavor." She smiles, "It is good to see you again though. What are you doing so far away from Omega?"

"Business. I come here a few times a month to consolidate my interests"

"Ooh, how cryptic"

"You don't really want to know, and I don't care to discuss business with you anyway"

"How unlike you not to make a beeline for the point. Could it be that you're here for personal reasons?"

Aria grimaces again. "Just doing a favor for a friend"

"I wasn't aware you had many friends." Shepard falters. "I'm sorry, that was…"

"I'm a big girl Shepard. Your thoughtlessness doesn't faze me"

Shepard maintains a contrite silence that Aria is only too happy to follow.

"Tevos," Aria finally says

Ah. Tevos. Shepard's demeanor darkens. "What about her?"

"Talk to her"

That's a surprise. A huge surprise. Either Tevos has the pull to make Aria do something like this (unlikely), or there's something deeper there.

"What's it to you?"

No-one can say that Aria is anything but forthright. "I'm not going to spell it out for you, so just settle for this warning: stop being such a colossal bitch to Tevos. It's puerile, and embarrassing, and if you pulled that shit with me I would have happily shot your face off years ago"

Shepard is unfazed, something of a snarl making its way to her face. "Try again"

Aria's eyes burn blue, and before Shepard can react she's being launched clear across the room. She collides with the wall, making a crack in the finish. Her hand flies to a gun that is not at her waist. She curses. She watches as Aria makes a show of walking up to her, lowering to one knee so that they're eye-to-eye. Her fist is engulfed in an angry corona of blue, but her eyes are once again calm.

"You just gave yourself away," says Shepard, smiling. "What is she to you? Not just a friend, surely"

"I don't remember you being this cheeky"

"I don't remember you being this…" Shepard winces, "sensitive"

"Trust me when I say that what you've seen so far has been my utmost restraint"

Shepard laughs. Aria is a person who wears her heart on her sleeve, and yet that blow was probably the most genuine interaction they had ever had. Of course, not counting…

"That so? I wonder how well you kiss when you aren't holding back"

Aria glares.

Shepard sighs. "This really matters to you huh?"

Aria keeps glaring.

"Fine. I'll think about it"

Aria nods, passing her a card that reads the name and address of another high-class bar not far from where they are. Shepard half-smirks. How subtle.

Neither of them is likely to get much more out of the other than that. Aria helps her up and they finish their drinks. The bartender doesn't say anything about the brief upheaval, perhaps because she is used to these things. She offers them another drink and they both refuse. Arias pays for both of them before Shepard can even try. It's a soft thing for Aria to do, and Shepard wonders what has been happening in her life for her to act so unpredictably.

Food for thought.

When she gets to her car she turns the card over and over again in her fingers, pondering it through the haze of slight tipsiness. She sighs, wondering what the hell she thinks she's doing as she punches in the directions to the second bar. The car lifts into the air without her having to control it, and it makes its way to Councilor Tevos.

* * *

It feels like Déjà vu when Shepard slides into the booth at the far end of the Blue Mandible bar on the Presidium. Contrary to what the name might imply, it is a bar that caters almost exclusively to Asari. Other species are allowed of course, but everything in the establishment is meant to cater to Asari tastes.

Unlike the bar she just left, this one is livelier. The floor is crowded with patrons bustling for drinks and orders of food Shepard only barely recognizes. She reminds herself to ask Liara about Asari cuisine later. It takes some time to find the right table, mostly because it is in a private room, but Shepard isn't surprised, Tevos never struck her as the type for social drinking.

Tevos is surprised though, very surprised. She stares at Shepard as if she isn't entirely sure she's there. It takes her a moment to remember herself, straightening her back to recover some poise. She hadn't expected company tonight, or if she did then they had already come and left. A politician like Tevos can't afford to be seen drinking in a place like this, but if she has to be then she's going to look her best.

"Don't you ever turn it off?"

Shepard has caught her very much off guard. "What?"

"You tensed up when I came in. Sat up straight, You don't always have to be a politician you know"

"Strange advice coming from a politician"

Shepard notices Tevos's fingers trembling. "I'm not here to hurt you"

"I know that. How did you know I was here?"

"Aria"

"_What_?"

"Yeah. I was surprised too"

Tevos lets out an exasperated sigh. "She never listens"

Interesting reaction. "She told me to talk to you"

"And where is she now?"

"How should I know? She didn't tell me her plans for the evening"

"Damn it Aria!" A blue fist collides with the table. Tevos immediately winces in pain, gripping her hand delicately; not a woman built for sudden acts of violence. It's actually pretty funny.

"Whatever, I'm here. I'm listening. If you have something to say then say it"

Tevos takes a moment to ponder her drink. It's the same purple stuff that Shepard was gulping down at the previous bar, and from the looks of it, it isn't Tevos's first drink of the night. She stares into the small glass, expression schooled, but tight, as if she wants to say a thousand things but lacks the wherewithal to say them all. She chuckles. "You ignore me for years and I'm supposed to have something prepared? Sorry, but I don't"

Shepard waits. Tevos takes a breath.

"You know, after the first year of you ignoring me I started wondering what I would say to you if we ever spoke again. I've wondered for so long. And now I just can't think of anything to say"

"How about "sorry Shepard, for ignoring your warnings so many times. If only I had listened to you, we might have prevented trillions of deaths""

Tevos smiles. It's small, faint;. There's more regret in that smile than a hurt expression could ever manage.

"Is that really what you want from me? Will it really mean anything?"

"Maybe not, but it couldn't hurt"

Tevos shrugs. "I'm not sorry for my actions preceding the war. Yes, if I had believed you we might have cobbled together a marginally better defense. But really? Reapers?" Her laughter is short-lived and humorless. "The very notion was too ridiculous to entertain. Any person with common sense would have done the same"

"Yeah, but then it turned out I was right"

"That's true." Tevos smiles again, ghosting a rueful glance at Shepard's eyes before looking forlornly to the side. Shepard wonders if Tevos feels as numb as she does. "You saved us all"

Shepard remembers that conversation in the Normandy's comm-room after the failed mission on Thessia. All she could give Tevos then was mumbled apologies as they both received news of Thessia's slow downfall. There was no anger then, just the brief, split-second certainty that doom was imminent. Shepard had fantasized about railing at Tevos then, maybe throwing the blame at her. But the Asari's grief was palpable, and her anger had mollified.

She looks at Tevos now. There is some semblance of that grief now. You don't have to be a soldier to have bad memories of the war.

"You saved us," Tevos repeats. "I will always be grateful for that. So…if I were to tell you anything, I suppose that it would be "Thank you." I don't think I ever thanked you personally. You never really gave me the chance. But…that's fine I suppose. I don't mind if you ignore me, disdain me, or hate me. I would bear it happily for the rest of my life if I had to, if it made up in any way for our treatment of you." She takes a breath, as if vindicated, and she looks much lighter, happier. "I…am glad I got to say that. Though I disapprove of Aria's methods, I am glad she got you to talk to me"

_Spectacular_.

Shepard gets up without warning and shoves her way out of the bar. The air outside is implausibly cold. The Presidium is almost always at room temperature, even outside, but it is cold now. Shepard is chilly and nauseous. She reaches for something to lean against, groping for a wall but encountering nothing. She stumbles, almost tripping to the ground. She has to sit down. A nearby bench provides this service.

You can't really hate someone when your impression of them is based on a few sterile encounters. For a very long time Tevos has been the impassive bitch that made Shepard's job harder than it needed to be. She was no better than that bigot Sparatus, or that asshole Valern.

But she was. Is. She is much better than they ever were. From their first encounter Tevos had been the most reasonable of the original council. She wasn't condescending, and her judgments were never too harsh. In some morbid fashion she had become, to Shepard, a maternal figure; someone from whom Shepard expected at least some modicum of support in the face of the biased council.

She didn't get that support until it was too late. Perhaps this is why her disdain for Tevos has persisted for so long, growing like some sick, psychological fungus. Shepard realizes that perhaps the reason she did not speak or even acknowledge her for so long was because she wanted to hold on to that resentment, that infantile piece of herself that would always want to lord over the fact that she was right, and the council was wrong.

Trillions of lives in exchange for petty vindication. _The Reapers do so exist, losers_.

Shepard isn't surprised when Tevos follows her. She makes for an odd image; a beautiful Asari in a stylish dress, stumbling drunkenly to Shepard's bench. She sits inelegantly onto it, and then settles into Shepard's silence. She shivers from the cold.

Shepard wordlessly takes off her jacket and gives it to her.

Tevos accepts it. "Thank you. I'm glad you didn't really leave"

Shepard won't apologize to her. Not yet. Maybe never. Sometimes resentment is as hard to remove as gristle at the bottom of a pot. But she has to tell her _something_. She takes a breath, unsure of what she's about to say, but knowing that any words she has to offer will be valued. Maybe even if they're curses. Maybe Tevos is morbid too.

"So…you and Aria. There's a story there"

If the atmosphere was heavy before it is relieved of that weight now. Tevos laughs. It's not the one she uses at functions for dignitaries that tell bad jokes. This is a real laugh, with a girlish lilt and everything. You can't be mad at someone when they aren't really who you think they are. Even if for a moment, you can't be mad at someone when they laugh like that.

"If the public knew the particulars of that story then my career would be over"

"Something steamy then?"

Tevos smiles, but says nothing.

"You'll have to tell me sometime"

"Maybe I will"

Is that a promise? Shepard had uttedit without thinking. They look at one another. They could have been friends once. Maybe they can be now.

"So…Sparatus and Valern. You keep in touch with them?"

"Goddess no," begins Tevos, teasingly pensive, "I never cared enough for either enough to keep in touch"

They share a laugh. "You're kidding. I thought you were all best friends or something"

Shepard isn't this forgiving, and Tevos isn't this indulgent, but their feelings are just the right balance of resentment and gratitude for things to be…comfortable. Easy even. By the time they stop talking, it is already light out, and Shepard feels lighter. Doubtless Liara already knows where she is and what she's been doing. She wonders if Liara is on speaking terms with Tevos. Are they friends?

Either way she'll be happy to see that grudge gone. Despite herself, Shepard certainly is.


End file.
